Time To Get Swole
Man, do I have some magical, mystical, mass building advice for you today. But I know – you’re extremely skeptical. You’re waiting for the bullcrap; to be let down by some cool sounding training system with overly complicated mumbo jumbo, and exercises that suck.
Sorry, no fail for you today.
I don’t hand out fail. I’m not pushing an agenda. You want to get big fast, then do the following.
1 – Stay with a Simple Routine
Listen, you have been searching for the ultimate routine for years. In fact, you spend more time reading about routines then performing routines. And each week you switch routines. I’ve found it, this week I’m making the change to blah, blah, blah and will grow!
Fail!
Enough with this foolishness. I’m about to carpet bomb your fantasies, so you have been warned. Brace yourself. Here goes…it doesn’t matter what routine you use. Yes, you heard me right. Doggcrapp, Max Stim, Dogg Stim, Max Crapp…whatever. Just pick something and stick with it. And make sure the routine isn’t complicated. You don’t need complicated.
A simple routine focuses on progression of weight using basic heavy compound lifts including:
- Squats
- Deadlifts
- Bench Press
- A form of the Overhead Press
E. T. C.
If you find that your routine has you doing giant sets, drop sets, or focusing on the dreaded mind-muscle connection, run like the wind. And worse yet, if it contains too many isolation movements…well…FAIL. You don’t need training techniques or isolation movements, you need to:
2 – Lift Heavy Ass Weights
Lift heavy ass weight. Heavy ass weight makes muscles grow. Heavy ass weight can be in any rep range, because it is heavy ass weight and is kicking your balls seven ways to Sunday.
What rep range should I use? FAIL! It doesn’t matter – Lift heavy ass weights!
What should my rep speed be? FAIL! It doesn’t matter – Lift heavy ass weights!
Should I do cable crossovers before or after flyes, and should incline bench be performed with a 22 degree angle, or a 24 degree angle? FAIL! It doesn’t matter – Lift heavy ass weights!
What split is the most effective for mass? FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!
GO LIFT HEAVY ASS WEIGHTS!
But I don’t want to lift heavy! So and so says that squats are bad for your knees, and my mom is afraid and wants me to take up knitting.
Both so and so, and your mom (no offense to moms) can barely lift a roll of toilet paper to wipe their own asses. If you want to look like your mom, listen to the training advice of your mom. If you want to pack on muscle, lift heavy ass weight!
The end!
3 – Stop Bitching and Get Your Ass to the Gym!
I’m tired.
My toe hurts.
My right nut seems small today, maybe I shouldn’t train.
Want to know how to fail? I mean epic fail? Continue to make excuses, and avoid going to the gym. Want to know how to succeed? Gird up your balls, shut the hell up, and get your ass to the gym, 52 weeks a year. The end.
This isn’t complicated.
Of course your left nut hurts! You’re lifting weights. Lifting heavy ass weights will hurt from time to time. Pain is part of the equation. We aren’t collecting bottle caps here, Charles.
4 – Forget Your Damned Abs and Eat!
I want a six pack!
Bud, if you think you can pack on muscle and carve out a six pack in the same month, you need to lay off the crack pipe.
This just in…if you want muscle, you need to eat big. If you want to be a 220 mass monster, but only weigh 120, you need to start eating like you weigh 220 pounds.
How long should I bulk before I cut? FAIL! Eat until people at the gym start asking you where you get your steroids from. Then, and only then can you start cutting.
Should my bulk be dirty or clean? FAIL! Grab a shovel and get to gettin’.
Whole milk has fat! Almonds have fat! I can’t eat fat! FAIL! Listen, drinking whole milk and lifting heavy ass weights equals muscle mass.
Final Thoughts
- Lift heavy ass weight using heavy ass compound lifts.
- Eat big.
- Never miss a workout.
- Stick with a basic routine.
Follow these 4 rules for two years and you will dramatically change your body. The end.
This makes me wanna lift heavy ass weights and eat. I am 14 I weigh 165, bench 155, clean 155, and squat 225. Does anyone have more tips that I can get bigger and stronger fast.
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HEY TANK my dicks 4in soft..maybe u can fit it in ur big mouth u fag
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And for that…FAIL!!!
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HEY TANK real cool to raid rage on a teen via blog..you. HOMO
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AYE TANK HATER FUCK YOU I WILL MEET U ANYWHERE ANYTIME AND BEAT THE WEINER OUTTA YOU BRO! EVER BE MEAN TO ME AGAIN AND I WILL POOP ON YOU SO HARD YOUR VAGINA LIPS WILL GET CHAPPED! JERK!
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I do 19 sets of each exercise with low weight, and even though i get only about 2000 calories per day, im making all KINDS of gains.
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Strong troll.
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tank….. FAIL!
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Awesome article. I correct myself the best article I have ever read on getting big.
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srously you guyz are all pussys. you say you eat like a monster but i coud prolly eat u. ive ben eating salads and have ben a vegan 4 5 yearz and i way at least 116. and my wiener is 2 inch soft so fuck all of u!
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I love the article. It’s ful of energy and aggression. I’m already feeling the pump in my muscles after reading this article. Thanks and keep writing.
Thanks,
Vishwas
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I started working out two months ago. I started out kind of fat but athletic at 240 and now I’m 270 and I’m fucking strong. I can out lift alot of the muscular teens out there. Btw I’m 17 and I still am fat but hopefully I can drop most of the fat off later. But ya I did basically what the above info said and It worked so all you guys do this work out “stragedy”
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Yo. I lift every monday wednesday friday religiously. I have been an on and off lifter my whole life. I have been in the weight room for 3 months lifting hard as fuck, eating like a damn monster, and running til i throw up. When i started i weighed 170. I now weigh 200. Bench when i started was 160 max. Now my max is 270. Squat was 235. Now its 300. Im getting bigger and bigger. Its all about work ethic. Dont be a pussy.
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i have high metabolism and i am currently still doing this and granted my wieght gain is a slow process but my strength is amazing! i went from a 290 squat to 355 in 2 months haha this is good since i wiegh 150 now
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guyz i wasnt kidding i actually need some tips. i try to get big but i cant get to 20 push ups without vomiting. and everytime i try to work on squats i start to get owwies on my legs. and btw whats the best protein powder for a boy like me?????
-Tank
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wot is the best way for me to start gettin big i only way 9 stne and my friends say i wont get big i will just get ripped ???
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Join the forum and post your question. We’ll help.
http://muscleandbrawn.com/forums/
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obversely you didnt read the artical correctly, you gotta eat big!! fuck what everone else thinks!!!!
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Search and read the complete article from Sean Nalewanyj Muscle Gain Truth
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The only way you gonna get big is eat, and eat lots, just eat all day, 3 good meals, and 3 good snacks, I’m 6ft 2, 16st 2 that’s about 268 pounds, and currently in a bulking phase, training 2 on 1 off
Typical day of food:
Breakfast: bowl of porridge
Weightgainer shake with oats in
Snack: peanut butter sandwich whole wheat bread peanut butter on both slices
Lunch: chicken, fish or beef with rice and sine veg
Snack: chicken,fish or beef sandwich
Dinner: meat with pasta noodles whatever
Supper: weight gainer shake
Also I usually snack on nuts and seeds throughout day, take 10g of creatine a day either after workout or in morning and after dinner, I never take it pre workout, pointless in my opinion but that’s just me,
This ain’t rocket science, train hard and eat lots, the only thing I disagree with in this article is the reps, lifting ad heavy as possible for 1 rep is pointless unless your goal is pure strength, lift heavy enough to keep in a 6-12 rep range, personally if I hit 12 reps I add more weight but this is just my advice
Go out there and do whatever the fuck you wanna do
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Btw does any1 have any tipz either? i know you guys are huge and would prolly beat my ass lolz but i need some ideas! plz and thank u!
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Top #1…join the forum. We’ll help you out.
http://muscleandbrawn.com/forums/
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Yeah my bench went from 65 to 75 in two years, this article works pretty well. also, i can squat at least 70 now, thx for Da article d00d.
ps: im not a bitch
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im only 16 and i gained over 40 pounds in 3 months by just eating as much as i could until it felt lie i was going to throw up then earing some more. then i would do dips and heavy weights the results were pretty good!
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Just make sure you gets strong while eating all that food. Food without strength will just turn into fat.
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This article is a refreshing slap to the face.
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Dude awesome article and mindset! I’m a naturally big guy who works out as you describe lifting heavy for the most part and I stick to a simple routine as well. I have been asked “what I take” by some of the people who got to know me over the years, “whey protein, creatine powder, and willpower are my drugs of choice”. I take these questions as an accomplishment instead of an insult and train harder. I have sent this article through text messages and email to all guys that I have acquired as gym partners that attempt to go but decide their pussy’s hurt’in and call out on going to the gym all the time for the stupidest reasons. Each type of workout is for a different reason and varies between each person. This article is for getting big and not approaching it like a pussy. I must admit as well, I have always enjoyed a good laugh watching the guys who say they’re trying to get big and never gain strength or size because they’re doing complete workouts in the cable cross-over area and eat 1200 calories a day. Though to each is own and I’m not them, just don’t bitch to me saying you can’t get bigger when your going about things the wrong way.
I think Ol’ Peter^ is the cable cross over type…
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I did like he said and will always do this, its the best advice out there. In 3 months my bench went from 185 max to 275 for 3 reps, I’m planning to hit 315 within the month. I’ve put on about 15 lbs of muscle, and lost about 8-10 lbs of fat. I have never had results like this from working out with complex programs and isolation movements.
Just pick up the heaviest shit you can and do it every week like clockwork. I only do maybe 4-5 different exercises each time I go to the gym and lift the heaviest shit I can do. Takes about 45 minutes 3 times a week and I’m starting to get pretty damn huge.
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finally some body gets it, heavy is all about u, and only u, if 10 lbs is heavy for u doing only 6 reps, well thats heavy for u,dont worry about the other going 315 lbs for 6 rep, the result is the same, u r both max at 6 reps…and all the article is saying is, eat as much and take in as much as u can, he never said to go, and have as much ice creem, or junk food, so people understain before u make your comments…and thanks again for being honest with your article.
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HOLY SHIT, I LOVE THIS ARTICLE! This is exactly what i do and it works. i gained 15lbs in 8 weeks and went from a 225lb bench to a 315lbs bench. this man is truth! guys in pink…theres a reason why you’re highlighted in pink. because you FAIL.
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LMAO grrrrrrrreat article I’ma do it now…BTW I’m at work and I started laughing so hard when I’ve read ” can’t go to the gym cause my right nut hurts” or some like that lol oh god.
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Twitter: weightgainfast
December 18, 2011 at 6:21 pm -
Good article but I did like he is saying and gained lots of fat and muscle is well. You can not eat what u want because when u gain lots of fat then when u start burn it u will lose muscle is well. So everyone should keep good clean diet with good proportion between fat, protein and carbs.
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Doubt you did what this article is calling for. More likely you went from 130 to 135, gained 2 pounds of fat, trained like Richard Simmons, lost your abs and cried. Looking at your picture on Twitter it doesn’t look like you could squat 185, but you are selling a crap e-book.
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So true!
I gained 16 pounds in 2 months when I started eating 6 meals a day of 600kcal = 3600kcal plus my pre and post workoutout shakes.
And lifting heavy and dirty.
My workout#1
Squats
Chinups with weights
Dips with weights
Workout #2
Deadlift
Press behind the neck
Standing calfraises
No magic, but it only took me 20 years to learn it, shame.
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your telling people not to care about their form. eat as much of whatever they please, and not to start thinking about cutting till people ask where they get their steroids from. this is FAIL
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Did you read the same article? The author didn’t tell anyone to use shitty form. And he certainly didn’t say “eat as much as you want.”
I recommend a course called “Reading Comprehension 101.”
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“Everybody wanna be a body builder, but dont nobody wanna lift heavy ass weight” – Ronnie Coleman
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If the steel ain’t flexin ,better take up hair dressin
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This is awesome and hilarious, I’m gonna eat the shit out of everything, you pussies aren’t gonna be able to keep up!
just kiddin’, but i am gonna eat like big foot.
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I like this article so much, I found myself how wrong I was and scared to eat, but now and after I reading this article I will never be afraid to eat and lift heavy, Thanks again.
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Although the weight may be heavy, to lift the weight you would need to be strong. Therefore I wouldn’t recommend this program to those that are not strong enough to lift said weight.
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You fail on multiple levels…
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Heavy ass weight isnt the same for everyone! What is heavy for you maybe someone elses warmup or something in their dreams. The point to lifting heavy ass weight is to bust your ass everyday and do as much as you can everyday and dont let up ever or even think about taking a day off or a break because thats when you FAIL!!
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The simple truth is that the strongest person is the person who can eat the most. Fill your body with food, and strength will come. Oh, by the way, you can eat and lift an eat and lift AND still have a well defined body.
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hey, but when you say eat bigg, how about like white rice and fried chicken and all that shit.. i can eat that as well and it still equals to muscle mass??? reply pls
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Eat more chicken.
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Eat a shit ton of grilled /baked chicken and egg whites. If you like rice, eat brown rice and other wheats that have good carbs. Fish is also high in protein.
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This is a great article! People need to quit worrying about the insignificant details, stop making excuses and lift HEAVY ASS WEIGHTS!
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i so feel this article, i read so much crap my head hurts and its funny too good job man!
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goed lad thats a boss article straight to the point gonna give it a blast lad
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this is an ok aticle i guess if you would also say lift correctly lifting heavy weight doesnt work for people who have to big of an ego they tend to lift incorrectly and get no workout.
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if the bar aint bending your pretending
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if the bars not bending your pertending
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if the bars not bending your pertending
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if the bars not bending your pertending
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I tired this but my BP Went into overdrive so had to stop
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worked for me 140 –200 no prob keep it simple
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Lol lift heavy ass weight don’t wanna look like mama HAHHAHA LOL!
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There a need for adequate rest (recovery), a need for nutrition (food). But when it comes to the goal of getting bigger with lifghting weights. I love the plain, straight forward advice of this articles. It’s excellent with no bullshit!
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This is the post Ive been looking for, its straight and to the point, for people who don’t want hassle. Do you think you can send me a email list of compound exercises.
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Hi Cole,
This article is a good place to start:
http://muscleandbrawn.com/7-plus-7-core-bodybuilding-exercises/
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AND I DONT WANT TO DO STEROIDS BUT I WANT TO KEEP MY BIG …
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MY NAMES CODY I WANT TO GET RIPPED.IM 6-2 165 WHAT DO I DO TO DO THIS
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Really good article-I’ve always believed that the basics and preparation are the key. You keep it simple in the article and make it accessible-there’s far too much BS out there that just plain confuses people-this is easy to follow and most of all……truthful.
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Lift big, Eat big, Sleep big! I Did it for couple of years and finally found what i want! I got bigger than other naturals!
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Lifting heavy doesn’t have to mean lifting foolishly.
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While lifting heavy and getting plenty of quality food is vital, one must temper this with the knowledge that injury prevention should also be paramount. If you’re injured, you can’t life at all (heavy or otherwise).
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mate you forgot an important exercise that also is the key to growin you numb skulls REST WELL!! hows a body gonna grow if you dont rest
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Its the truht
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Here in Iraq I see Soldiers buying hundreds of dollars on products that doesn’t work attempting the miracle and desirable physique (big). This article had made me realize that the only ingredients needed to get big are cheap and includes dedication, simplicity, food, rest and heavy ass weights. I’m starting this simple program TODAY!!!
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[...] 4 Ways to Get Freaking Huge Muscle and Brawn Bodybuilding and Powerlifting. succes [...]
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great article but that photo on the end of it is proper skinny you should of used a better one
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I have always ate in bulk and drank 2 gallons of whole milk a day and lifted heavy ass weight and Im now at 340 pounds of solid mass so its ture eat big lift heavy.
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I love this article!! I have to agree, I have been lifting on and off since I was 16 year skinny kid, I am now 48. One thing I have done time and time again, when I wanted to get”BIG” again was to simply “Lift Heavy Ass Weight” with insane intensity and BAM!! I always got great results, and people asking how did you do that. I tell them, exactly what you are saying. Thanks for a refreshing article.
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LOL i laughted so hard..! it’s so truee!
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It is very true that both Vic Richards and Ronnie Coleman lift heavy. However!!! Those vains you see all over their muscles are crammed with artificial testosterones and growth hormones. Their hard work cannot be doubted but their size is of steroid and hgh usage.
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They still have to work hard. Steroids generally requires you to train harder and smarter, to a certain extent.
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phenomal article!! i’ve been telling my male clients this for years!! my motto is “Eat big, lift big, sleep big, get big!” its that simple!! nice to see someone finally put it in an article! Great one guys!
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^^ To Moedal -> I think you’re forgetting about an even more important recipe to getting big – SLEEP!!
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Holy crap! LMFAO!!! What a funny article! Had me nearly rolling on the floor. Mostly, because I’ve been there, and done that (whimpy, crappy, no fat, high rep workouts that don’t mean jack!). It’s so simple yet complicated for most folks. There is no other way to pack the mass on unless you eat. After all, workouts are only 10% of the equation, while diet is over 90% alone!
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[...] FAIL! FAIL! FAIL! (artikel) hehe, ben benieuwd hoe jullie hier over denken? 4 Ways to Get Freaking Huge Muscle and Brawn Bodybuilding and Powerlifting. [...]
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[...] 4 Ways to Get Freaking Huge Muscle and Brawn Bodybuilding and Powerlifting. Best bulking article ever __________________ Check out and follow my newbie training log! In [...]
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[...] advice of your mom. If you want to pack on muscle, lift heavy ass weight! The end! source: 4 Ways to Get Freaking Huge Muscle and Brawn Bodybuilding and Powerlifting. Forgot to leave the ego at the door before entering the gym I see, or way too much steroid [...]
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[...] [...]
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You know what the problem is with this type of very honest and clear writing?
People just dont believe it can be that simple. They have to believe in the ‘latest fad workout’ or ‘the newest boldest super supplement’. Why?
There are too many reasons to write here. As someone famous once said when asked why I answer ‘because’. Now go and lift some heavy weights, and make sure you periodise your prog (forget a split routine, simple alternating weeks of 5-10-15 reps will do it), then eat a bucketload of food. Then you will grow, it is that simple. All you need to do now is add some dedication in and results will be yours.
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Thats about it it will get you bigger to get super big you have to have big parents i e mother or father.
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[...] “Four ways to get freaking huge” is a very simple but funny article on Muscle and Brawn that is less about getting huge and more about progressing and getting stronger. In short, keep it simple, lift heavy, eat big and don’t miss gym sessions. It’s the sort of article that’s quite nice to send to someone who is still doing cable cross-overs, smith-machine bench presses and biceps curls three times a week and isn’t really getting anywhere. [...]
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