Top 10 Reasons We Should All Take Steroids
I wanted to dispel some of the myths about steroids and its adverse effects on the human body, and encourage everyone to take a second look as to why or why not they should choose to cross over to the dark side. Things aren’t always as they appear to be and I want everyone to make an informed decision, otherwise we just remain ignorant sheeple.
Let’s start with the con’s…….
1. D-bol is taxing on the liver
Let’s be honest. People are doing far more damage to their livers consuming alcohol at a Wisconsin frat party on any given Friday night. This damage is far more than a healthy bodybuilder who eats clean and exercises could possibly be doing with his recreational use of an oral based substance. Besides, the liver is the fastest repairing organ in the human body, so even if you did some minimal damage with an oral steroid, a little liver cleanse from your local GNC will have you good as new in no time.
2. Steroids will make my hair fall out
I actually see this as a bonus. Most bodybuilders are always shaving their heads for competition in the first place. The way I see it, this will save you money on razors in the long run. A tan, sexy bald guy with a goatee is always “in”, and with the increase in body hair production, increased testosterone can provide you will finally grow that full beard out instead of that patchy homeless man looking thing your friends are always teasing you about. It can also provide a nice warm furry coat for those cold winters.
3. Steroids will make my pee pee shrink
Ok now this is utterly false. It doesn’t make your penis shrink…..it makes your testicles shrink, so let’s get that straight. It’s called testicular atrophy not peniscular atrophy, and girls aren’t really interested in your balls anyway. I’ve never heard a circle of girls sitting around talking about how amazingly large their boyfriends…….you get the idea. Think of it as a form of birth control. Your sperm production will be in the crapper so having that illegitimate child you weren’t planning on should be out of the question.
4. I will have anger issues
Now throughout the history of the world there have been all kinds of dictators with all kinds of anger management issues, and not once has it been documented that any of these men were taking an anabolic of any kind. I mean for cryin’ out loud, there are all kinds of inner city gangs and biker gangs that have been dealing a million different kinds of drugs fighting over territories. These are the most violent criminals on the planet, and they do it without the use of steroids. I have never once seen a news cast talk about a corrupt group of roid ragers strolling into a town and taking over.
5. Steroids are for cheaters
Cheating at what? Are you telling me that if I compete in a federation that doesn’t see the need to worry about the supplement choices of its competitors I am cheating someone? Let’s remember people, until the 80’s the american government hadn’t made them illegal, and until 1991 they were still legal in America’s favorite pastime. If the local gym rat wants to put on a little mass so his wife/girlfriend finds him slightly more attractive than I really don’t see the problem.
Now lets look at the pro’s…….
6. My body already produces testosterone
This is a very true and accurate statement, so it would only stand to reason that if your body produces it naturally, then how could it possibly be harmful to inject some moar? The way I see it… the more the better. Testosterone increases protein synthesis in the human body, so in combination with a high protein diet, high levels of test can give you immediate results in the gym which quite frankly we are all looking for.
7. Will I see immediate results
Well to be honest you can only see immediate results from anabolic steroid use if you combine it with mass amounts of protein which I preluded to above. The use of steroids is not just a simple magic pill although it’s close. You need to provide it with the proper building blocks to create the perfect storm, in which you can become the true beast you seek to become. Without the large amounts of protein, your body can become catabolic and actually start to atrophy, and you can lose mass instead of gain it. So remember this, large amounts of test and large amounts of weight gainer 5000 equals a large you.
8. It can boost your career
Without the use of steroids you might as well give up on the idea of seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine or getting that elusive supplement contract that you have been searching for. No one wants to see some skinny runt on the cover of Flex telling him about how he does 20 reps for 20 sets to get his 15″ guns. We all know the bigger you are the more valid your advise becomes, and no supplement company is gonna front a guy who can’t gather a following on a social network. So remember kids….. steroids = contracts = big money = get the girls = happy you!
9. Steroids will make you king
This is true on so many levels. I’m not entirely sure were to start. When you go to the gym, when you walk down the street, when you go to the bar, when you simply are just you. Everywhere you go you will be the envy of everyone around you. Everyone will be asking you how you look so amazing.
What is your workout plan? What does your diet look like? How many chicks do you score each week? Quite honestly, everyone will want to be you, and the self fulfillment you feel inside will be amazing. People have said that steroid use is followed with depression but I couldn’t disagree more. The bigger you are the more you will look…act…and feel king. You will always remember that none of it would be possible without that stash of anabolics in your closet and you will never want it to be any different.
10. The dark side has cookies
I cannot confirm or deny this but it’s a bonus if they do…….
None of the above statements or opinions are linked to muscleandbrawn or BTB check with your local authorities and a doctor before starting a workout regimen of any type.
This has been a jslep publication.