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Top 10 Reasons We Should All Take Steroids

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This article is by Jslep from the Muscle and Brawn Forum.

I wanted to dispel some of the myths about steroids and its adverse effects on the human body, and encourage everyone to take a second look as to why or why not they should choose to cross over to the dark side. Things aren’t always as they appear to be and I want everyone to make an informed decision, otherwise we just remain ignorant sheeple.

Let’s start with the con’s…….

1. D-bol is taxing on the liver

Let’s be honest. People are doing far more damage to their livers consuming alcohol at a Wisconsin frat party on any given Friday night. This damage is far more than a healthy bodybuilder who eats clean and exercises could possibly be doing with his recreational use of an oral based substance. Besides, the liver is the fastest repairing organ in the human body, so even if you did some minimal damage with an oral steroid, a little liver cleanse from your local GNC will have you good as new in no time.

2. Steroids will make my hair fall out

I actually see this as a bonus. Most bodybuilders are always shaving their heads for competition in the first place. The way I see it, this will save you money on razors in the long run. A tan, sexy bald guy with a goatee is always “in”, and with the increase in body hair production, increased testosterone can provide you will finally grow that full beard out instead of that patchy homeless man looking thing your friends are always teasing you about. It can also provide a nice warm furry coat for those cold winters.

3. Steroids will make my pee pee shrink

Ok now this is utterly false. It doesn’t make your penis shrink…..it makes your testicles shrink, so let’s get that straight. It’s called testicular atrophy not peniscular atrophy, and girls aren’t really interested in your balls anyway. I’ve never heard a circle of girls sitting around talking about how amazingly large their boyfriends…….you get the idea. Think of it as a form of birth control. Your sperm production will be in the crapper so having that illegitimate child you weren’t planning on should be out of the question.

4. I will have anger issues

Now throughout the history of the world there have been all kinds of dictators with all kinds of anger management issues, and not once has it been documented that any of these men were taking an anabolic of any kind. I mean for cryin’ out loud, there are all kinds of inner city gangs and biker gangs that have been dealing a million different kinds of drugs fighting over territories. These are the most violent criminals on the planet, and they do it without the use of steroids. I have never once seen a news cast talk about a corrupt group of roid ragers strolling into a town and taking over.

5. Steroids are for cheaters

Cheating at what? Are you telling me that if I compete in a federation that doesn’t see the need to worry about the supplement choices of its competitors I am cheating someone? Let’s remember people, until the 80’s the american government hadn’t made them illegal, and until 1991 they were still legal in America’s favorite pastime. If the local gym rat wants to put on a little mass so his wife/girlfriend finds him slightly more attractive than I really don’t see the problem.

Now lets look at the pro’s…….

6. My body already produces testosterone

This is a very true and accurate statement, so it would only stand to reason that if your body produces it naturally, then how could it possibly be harmful to inject some moar? The way I see it… the more the better. Testosterone increases protein synthesis in the human body, so in combination with a high protein diet, high levels of test can give you immediate results in the gym which quite frankly we are all looking for.

7. Will I see immediate results

Well to be honest you can only see immediate results from anabolic steroid use if you combine it with mass amounts of protein which I preluded to above. The use of steroids is not just a simple magic pill although it’s close. You need to provide it with the proper building blocks to create the perfect storm, in which you can become the true beast you seek to become. Without the large amounts of protein, your body can become catabolic and actually start to atrophy, and you can lose mass instead of gain it. So remember this, large amounts of test and large amounts of weight gainer 5000 equals a large you.

8. It can boost your career

Without the use of steroids you might as well give up on the idea of seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine or getting that elusive supplement contract that you have been searching for. No one wants to see some skinny runt on the cover of Flex telling him about how he does 20 reps for 20 sets to get his 15″ guns. We all know the bigger you are the more valid your advise becomes, and no supplement company is gonna front a guy who can’t gather a following on a social network. So remember kids….. steroids = contracts = big money = get the girls = happy you!

9. Steroids will make you king

This is true on so many levels. I’m not entirely sure were to start. When you go to the gym, when you walk down the street, when you go to the bar, when you simply are just you. Everywhere you go you will be the envy of everyone around you. Everyone will be asking you how you look so amazing.

What is your workout plan? What does your diet look like? How many chicks do you score each week? Quite honestly, everyone will want to be you, and the self fulfillment you feel inside will be amazing. People have said that steroid use is followed with depression but I couldn’t disagree more. The bigger you are the more you will look…act…and feel king. You will always remember that none of it would be possible without that stash of anabolics in your closet and you will never want it to be any different.

10. The dark side has cookies

I cannot confirm or deny this but it’s a bonus if they do…….

None of the above statements or opinions are linked to muscleandbrawn or BTB check with your local authorities and a doctor before starting a workout regimen of any type.

This has been a jslep publication.

Top 10 Reasons We Should All Take Steroids, 3.0 out of 5 based on 10 ratings

17 comments

  1. You forgot ball shrinkage.

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  2. You know i really want to thank you “honest”. You have really forced me to take a good look in the mirror and truly see myself for what i am. An immature steroid pusher with some very ignorant views….possibly on life itself maybe i’ll have to look a little deeper.

    Truth is i loved how you judged me so quickly off of a silly article i wrote in the form of some meat -head humor. You mentioned that at best you’d hope i was just 18, well in fact i am twice that age with an accredited educational background, i’ve been a NATURAL BBing competitor and powerlifting competitor, and my guess is i probably know quite a bit more about steroids and side effects and just the fitness world in general then you’d like to give me credit for. You are 100% correct it was written in elementary fashion, it was meant to be that way. You had mentioned that you were completely aware of steroids and there effects as anyone with common sense would be. With that said why would you give so few people credit to have that same common sense while reading the article and see it for what it is.

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    • hey just putting my opinion out there man. And I’m sure you’ve heard that ‘common sense isn’t so common’. Truth is I didn’t even read the article, lol.

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    • sorry bud im sure it’s a great article. I just got sick and tired of trying to be so politically correct all the time. had to let out some anarchy where i knew i wouldn’t get my ass kicked—-the internet.

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  3. LOL! Whatever makes you happy(if serious, of course). And steroids will not make my hair fall off. It’s not about the amount of hormones, but HOW they work, that’s what determines whether some people lose their hair and some not.

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  4. insults.. yes, nonsense.. not so much.

    adios amigo

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  5. You also mentioned you don’t think I’m a good bodybuilder because of my comment. Of course you couldn’t have properly judged through a comment, ergo you were being “negative” too, by your logic. You’re completely changing your implications. You generalize far too often in your comments to even begin a debate with, therefore I never took you seriously from the start. I could have pointed out many mistakes in your first comment, but this is the internet, and I’d gain nothing from that. Where did I post nonsense, exactly?

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  6. I say you are spreading negativity because your posts are riddled with name calling and nonsense. You can’t have a debate without calling someone childish or any other name that you’ve mentioned. Thank you for clarifying your views though!

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  7. and i meant to say young builders not new builders in my first comment

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  8. @Anonymous, obviously I’m talking about long term effects of steroid abusers, not users that are prescribed small dosages by doctors because they need it. The amount an average gym goer who uses steroids is way beyond that a doctor prescribes to a patient, and THOSE effects are largely unknown. I have no idea what you’re talking about when you say there are clearly strength articles, mass building articles, etc. I’m talking about this one article, not about this site in general, this article was written by a member of the forums. Lol, the last part of your little righteous comment is..
    by saying steroids aren’t all they’re cracked up to be I’m saying there are obviously people with both positive and negative views on steroids, obviously this writer is on the pro-steroid side, (consequently I may seem to be ‘trying to spread negativity’ as you put it, but that’s all perspective, bud) and unless your completely blind, I’m sure you’ve noticed many people on the internet advocating steroids to be great. And thus the reason why steroids are a controversial issue, at least on the internet. If you still don’t understand I’m not going to keep explaining. Lastly, I never once said they are a miracle drug, I am fairly familiar with what steroids do, as most people with common sense are. Of course it takes hard work, strict diet, and consistency to get muscle, on or off steroids. And what’s with your last point, how can you tell I don’t have any of that based on my comment, what are you, 6? Sleep well, hold your teddy bear tight, people with different views than you aren’t coming to get you tonight, you’re safe.

    Just because I have an opposite view on steroids than you do doesn’t make me negative, fool. Lastly, I’m sure most people go into the gym wanting to be healthier when they get out, I think we can all agree (Steroid lovers and all), that steroids offer you minimal to zero health benefits and actually do the opposite.

    So wait, wait, now I can say this right.. “You don’t want people to be healthy!! God I hate you for making the work such a negative place!!” Grow up.

    “Good day sir”

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  9. This article was meant to be light-hearted and give some great information. So many people out to spread negativity in the world it’s sad. Just like ‘honest’ did. “On top of that the long term effects are still largely unknown” – Anabolics were created in the 30s and they have been used in medicine since then with regular doses for people with many chronic things such as AIDS or burn victims. It is when these drugs are abused when you see worsened side effects coming out and that is the fault of the user.

    And how is the target audience “new people to bodybuilding” when there are clearly strength articles, mass building articles and articles for people looking to have a better diet?

    Steroids are only looked down upon because of the negative publicity that the media fabricates and makes steroids out to be. UK and Mexico are two places I know that sell steroids over the counter and you don’t see people ‘roid raging’ and dropping dead off of them.

    Lastly: “Or maybe you realized that steroids aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” Not sure what this means, must have been your rage induced hate upon this article but steroids are not a miracle drug that make you super human and grow massive muscles. It takes a lot of hard work, eating right and training right to get and keep gains off of them which sounds like you don’t do any of that.

    Good day sir.

    Good job on the article it was a fine read.

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  10. @mick madden, maybe so, but is it really a good idea to have a satirical article on such a controversial issue? Imagine what would happen if they put out articles based on satire for issues like wars or poverty. Further, it’s not easy to distinguish through words alone when someone is implying sarcasm, or satire in this case, on the internet. Lets try and keep it at a professional level here, and everywhere else.

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    • Satire has long been used on controversial topics. I suggest join the forum and sharing your thoughts with the author.

      We fully support free speech here, have no affiliations, and will continue to allow independent writers the opportunity to have a voice.

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  11. This article is satirical. It’s not being serious.

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  12. lol…i hope for your sake you’re at most 18 years old. Just reading the title made me laugh, then the points we’re almost elementary.
    “10 reasons we should all take steroids, they don’t make you lose hair, your ‘pee-pee'(really?) won’t shrink. Grow up pea-brain. There are many other bad side-effects, on top of that the long term effects are still largely unknown. If some kid just getting into bodybuilding was looking at this he’d probably take your ignorant advice to heart. And judging by your last point…”the dark side has cookies” (again, really?) your target audience is people new to the bodybuilding scene. Stop spreading bull**** and take some time out of your day to actually learn about the effects of steroids via a doctor or other RELIABLE source. Lastly…all this begs the questions, why exactly would you want new builders to feel so positively about steroids..? Do you perhaps feel angry that others don’t feel the same way you do? Or maybe you realized that steroids aren’t all they’re cracked up to be (by people like you, of course), and now don’t want to be the only one facing the problems you likely faced with?

    And sheeple? Don’t get me started on that..

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  13. If someone is so vain to take steroids to be somebody, I feel sorry for them.

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    • u feeling sorry wont stop any one from doing what they really want :-p

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