The Men’s Health Plague


God, I love the forums and magazines. Where else do I get to see people talk about things they have no clue about. Yet they are considered gods. Don’t get me wrong, some guys on the forums and in the magazines are awesome, but if I hear one more person talk about functional training and fitness, I’m going to start throwing plates at everyone on the street.

Fitness by definition is your ability to perform a task. If I ask if someone is fit to drive, I don’t care if he can run a six minute mile. Yet I see people constantly talk about fitness training. It’s as meaningless of a term as I have ever heard. Let’s get one thing clear – fitness has nothing to do functional training crap. Fitness has everything to do with a goal. If I want to do 20 pull ups, then I need to be fit enough to do them.

This carries me to my next topic – functional training. Jesus, this means nothing. It’s about carryover. If I have a job stocking shelves, then Turkish get-ups don’t mean crap. On the other hand, I need to be able to overhead press a certain weight frequently to perform my job, that is carryover. Same goes for sports training. If I’m a lineman for a football team, I need to be able to move a lot of weight and generate a lot of force with my legs, back, shoulder, and chest …not curl 100 lbs. So please, get off of some idiot’s jock and get back to training.

Yes I know I sound angry, and that is because I am. I’m tired of every tiny little runt telling me I’m not being functional. I don’t care. When will we get back to men being men. My guess is when the gyms start melting down all the nice little chrome machines to make more plates and barbells.

If this has offended you, I’m sorry. I don’t care. I’d rather offend 100 people if it helps one person, then to go with the flow. So shut up and go squat, bench, deadlift – you get the idea. If you need any more of a reason to do this, go look at guys like Reg Park. Do you think they trained to be “functional”? Hell no. They trained to be big. And they were better at life for it.

Mike Gossett
Mike Gossett is a classic physique enthusiast, and writes to help guide others onto the path of health and lifting. He believes in basic hard work for the best results, and lives what he preaches. Mike can be reached at:
  • Mike Gossett Jan 13,2010 at 6:28 am

    @eiwaz- This was not specifically targeted at that one magazine, but instead at the whole industry, as we try to move closer to “functional training” it seems that we move further from actual function and move more into b.s. type stuff, squating on a ball is stupid not functional.

  • eiwaz Jan 3,2010 at 4:59 am

    Hey man, Is this like the magazine with the same name (MH)?
    In these days some people training to be “functional”, I know those people, I think they suck, they don´t know anything about hard training, that´s all. I´m agree with you and Reg Park is one of the best, I wanna be like he (well maybe)…greetings from Mexico.

Leave Your Comment

Your Comment*

Your Name*
Your Webpage