Lori Braun is many things, but first and foremost she is the reigning queen of female muscle. Lori’s websites include Female Muscle, a power house female bodybuilding site, Athletic Tube, an upstart video sharing site focusing on the female figure, and of course the Lori Braun Blog.
Some call Lori eccentric, some call her wildly creative, but no one calls her dull. And if you don’t believe me, see for yourself. She can be found dancing on a bed or flexing in the shower on Youtube.
The following interview was provided to Muscle and Braun by Lori Braun for your entertainment purposes. Enjoy.
Downtownkate is interviewing Lori Braun.
DK: Did you jump on your bed when you were a kid?
LB: Always! Like a maniac with my brother we jumped from bed to bed singing Beatles songs.
DK: Were your parents hippies?
LB: Yes. But not dirty hippies. More like 60’s intellectuals.
DK: They didn’t name you and your brother Sunshine and Wheat grass?
LB: No. They liked the Beatles, not Elvis. That’s how I separated everyone. It was how I could tell them apart.
DK: Do you think of yourself as a free spirit?
LB: Yes. But I try not to let it take me to strange and dangerous places.
DK: When you were a kid, who was your hero?
LB: Jeannie From “I Dream Of Jeannie.” I worshiped her. She was powerful, and she controlled men.
DK: She was funny too.
LB: Yes, and a strong women who always stood up for whatever she believed in and got what she wanted without hurting anyone. She was also the first person on TV to have her bellybutton showing. Then they made her cover it up.
DK: Now who would be your hero?
LB: Tina Turner. And Hillary Clinton because she is a strong woman. Not to say she used her husband, but she “used” her husband. She turned out to be pretty cool. She raised her daughter well. When asked which of her parents would be a better president, Chelsea answered,”My mother.” I also like Mae West (another strong sexual woman) and Georgia O’Keeffe.
DK: If someone were to play you in a movie, who would it be?
LB: Eddie Munster, no, just kidding. Melissa Tomlei. She has that tough chick side for sure.
DK: I can see Jennifer Aniston. What do you think of that? She has a great body and she is a little off center.
LB: Yes. I like her.
DK: What is your favorite thing to eat?
LB: I love watermelon, olives, sour pickles and chocolate, good chocolate.
DK: You have told me that one of your favorite books is “The Bell Jar”.
LB: Not my only favorite. I should also mention “Five People you Meet In Heaven” by Mitch Albom.
DK: Books from childhood?
LB: “Where The Wild Things Are” and “The Poky Little Puppy.” And I had another favorite book, what is it? “There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly” and”The Five Chinese Brothers.”
DK: Any favorite fairy tails?
LB: I liked Dumbo.
DK: Girl, that ain’t no fairy tail.
DK: Have you ever cut your own hair?
LB: Yes, and all the kids in the neighborhood. Definitely messed them up real bad. Definitely scissor happy. I have many sharp scissors at home. I never know when I’ll have to cut hair.
DK: I imagine you are a good swimmer.
LB: I can swim but I’m afraid of sharks. The movie “Jaws” ruined it for me.
DK: Have you always loved the critters?
LB: Always. I tried saving boxes full. The most we ever had was seven cats. They all climbed the Christmas tree at the same time- took it down. When my parents got divorced they were more inclined to let me have pets. My dad was big on gerbils and iguanas. I love snakes but I hate spiders. But I would never kill anything not even a cockroach unless it were crossing my eye while I was sleeping. I believe any animal could have been a family member, even an ant.
DK: Do you think you would be a cat if you were a critter?
LB: I think a tiger. A bigger cat.
DK: Let’s talk about men. When you were a young girl, did you ever dress up as bride?
LB: Not a chance in hell. I don’t want to be like regular people. Don’t write about that. I don’t want to insult the married people.
I never fit in. I felt like a misfit toy.
DK: From Rudolf?
LB: (Lori starts to sing) Why am I such a misfit……..
DK: So traditional you were not.
LB: Never wore a dress. Wore some tough outfits even as a kid. I was yelling and screaming and running at a very early age. I got into a lot of fights when I was growing up.
DK: Did you grow up in a tough neighborhood?
LB: At times it was. It was just the way I resolved things. That’s why I have a lot of scars on my hands. Once some girl at a concert maced me and I destroyed her. I scalped her.
DK: Oh my.
LB: I still have the hair. It is in a drawer. I never like hitting girls unless they really need it. If they are in my face.
DK: If you could be doing anything else what would it be?
LB: Not a fantasy, like rock star?
DK: Sure, why not?
LB: Well, I would like to work with orphan children but not on a medical level.
DK: Did you have a teacher who was an influence?
LB: I did. Her name was Mrs. Scotto. I had dyslexia and A.D.D. and she saw I was smart. I was in fourth grade and she handled me with kindness.
DK: Anything irk you about being a woman?
LB: I’m irked at having to look pretty. It sucks having to wear makeup. It would be great to rip my shirt off at the beach and not have people stare.
DK: What got you started as a bodybuilder?
LB: When I was a little kid I was naturally stronger than others and genetically more muscular. I admired the women on the TV show “Solid Gold” with their amazing legs, small waists, and big backs. Then in college I started taking a jazz dance class. There was one women in class who looked like she could have been a “Solid Gold dancer”. I was more interested in the way she looked than how she danced.
DK: You started lifting weights?
LB: Yes. I grew up in an all male house and there were always weights around. My boobs grew pretty large. I wasn’t too happy about that. My brother got me two twenty pound weights. Lifting reduced the size of my boobs. Then I was looking through muscle mags and saw Cory Everson. I’ve always been drawn to women with big legs. I like to be strong for self protection. Needed the strong edge.
DK: Have you ever competed?
LB: Local shows in Florida. But my thing was behind the scene. I was not the kind who wanted to be on stage. I felt that I would be better at promoting others. That was my gut instinct.
DK: Do you find that your weight fluctuates?
LB: Yes. About ten pounds either way. All women have body image problems.
DK: Are you happy with the way you look?
LB: Never. I’m never satisfied. If I’m ripped and lean then I want more size. Then when I have bulk I want to be cut.
DK: How often do you work out?
LB: Four times a week. I bike ride once or twice a week.
DK: Do you dread going to the gym?
LB: Love, love it. I think about my workout routine the night before. A good gym is very helpful for staying motivated.
DK: When you are in training mode, how is your life different?
LB: I’m always in training mode. I am not training in accordance with a bodybuilding show schedule. I stay training 12 months a year.
DK: What tips would you give bodybuilders who are starting out?
LB: Bodybuilding is a lifelong commitment. Be consistent and start off slowly so that you don’t injure yourself. Its a wonderful sport but keep your day job. Don’t expect it to pay your bills. Always train with someone who is better than you. Choose someone whose body you like. Also, stay away from dairy and buy Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Encyclopedia of Bodybuilding.
DK: What traits do you look for in a man?
LB: Somebody who is highly intelligent, funny, kind, affectionate , and generous. I like them honest, athletic, with a boyish charm.
DK: And friends? What do you look for in a friend?
LB: Loyalty. Someone I can do the Bonnie and Clyde thing with. Partners in crime.
DK: Are men intimidated by you?
LB: Yes, sometimes. Guys who like me are motorcycle guys. Also firemen and cops. Blue collar men have to be strong to do their jobs. Men steer clear of me in the gym. I don’t look friendly in the gym.
DK: Do you identify with any character in literature? I know you’ll say Bambi.
DK: You did not disappoint me.
(Lori and Downtownkate crack up.)
DK: If you could say what Lori is about in one sentence,what would it be?
LB: I’m a very philosophical person. I think about sex, death and money often, not in that order always.
DK: One sentence.
LB: Stay strong women!