ElementalVirago's GR8 HT-8 Log

[ElementalVirago]

Yeah, I got the offers even before I hurt myself. Go figger.

[BendtheBar]

Originally Posted by ElementalVirago

I dunno. I think I'm fine. It's he that has the problem, not me. So sayeth the addict.

I run into this sort of thing with my wife all the time. I come from a very dysfunctional family, and she worries that my habits will go over the line.

For me, a bad addiction is something that:

A) Harms your body.
B) Harms your mind.
C) Destroys relationships.
D) A combo of the above.

A "positive" addiction is a good habit. I am addicted to brushing my teeth, and wiping properly.

Is this addiction, or a good habit? I guess it depends, once again, on the above.

Are you destroying relationships because of lifting? Is it harming your body or mind? If not, it's a good habit and not a bad addiction.

All of us obsess about something. It's human nature. Even Buddha obsessed about not obsessing.

This mindset is a cornerstone of "negative psychology", which believes we are all victims, all products of our environments, and worries about every action we take and what it reflects about our inner workings. It's like an ingrained fear that if we step crooked, even for one second, we could veer of course and plummet into the depths.

I prefer the positive psychology approach, which seeks only to make life more fulfilling. It's more freeing, and doesn't carry the burden of worry. Anyway, sorry for the long ramble, but your boyfriend needs to stop worrying about it, and instead spend his time embracing what's good about it. Encouragement is greater than fear.

I'm not really sure I did anything more than vomit words on this page.

Anywho, hope your injury feels better soon.

[ElementalVirago]

BtB, my thoughts exactly on the definition of addiction. I don't work out obsessively. I'm not shirking any responsibility (i.e. missing work or other obligations, not ignoring my kids). It's not like I do pushups while I wait for my oatmeal to cook or anything. And I did point this out to him, he just said "you're not yet, but I wanted to talk to you before it got to that point, and then you wouldn't be as receptive." Which I get. It's hard to talk to someone in the throes of addiction. I don't think I'm gonna get there, but you know it DID give me food for thought. It made me aware that he is worried, and that in turn makes me more aware to be on the looking for a problem. He cares, he really does. But on the other hand I don't feel like I should be made to feel bad about working out either. It's not something most people understand. I just had someone today tell me "you don't need to work out. If you keep working out you'll get all manly muscley." I'm afraid of getting to a point where I don't recognize that I am becoming unattractive to others, but then again, should I really care? I dunno. Something to think about, anyway.

[ElementalVirago]

Oh yeah, on another note, made an appt. with our in-house doc to look at my leg (we have a free clinic where I work). At the very least hopefully he/she can get me some ibuprofen or some pain meds.

[DieselWeasel]

EV, I'm going to borrow your fiance's opening line here. Don't take this the wrong way but, like I stated earlier in your journal, he seems like the epitome of a toxic individual. I try to eliminate all toxicity in my life, whether it's high fructose corn syrup, monosodium glutamate, aspartame, sucralose, soy, vaccines, or people. If it was me, I would give my significant-other an ultimatum: deal with your insecurity about me looking better than you.... or find someone else.

[ElementalVirago]

Originally Posted by DieselWeasel

EV, I'm going to borrow your fiance's opening line here. Don't take this the wrong way but, like I stated earlier in your journal, he seems like the epitome of a toxic individual. I try to eliminate all toxicity in my life, whether it's high fructose corn syrup, monosodium glutamate, aspartame, sucralose, soy, vaccines, or people. If it was me, I would give my significant-other an ultimatum: deal with your insecurity about me looking better than you.... or find someone else.

Again I will respectfully disagree with you on your assessment of him being a toxic person. Keep in mind you are only seeing a slice of his personality. But I do agree with you in that he needs to deal with it. I have already made up my mind that if he can't deal with it or if I become unattractive to him because I've made myself BETTER, then as much as it would kill me to do so, I would have to say "I'm not going to change so you decide if you're going to live with it or leave me." It's not as if I've chosen to sit on the couch and eat bon bons all day until my ass registers its own zip code.

I DO understand that he's concerned about me because he knows I have an addictive personality. I could just as easily get addicted to exercise as I could heroin. He knows this about me. I truly feel this is coming from his heart, not a manipulative insecurity. I DO see a snippet of insecurity, but that tends to happen when one spouse gets healthy and another doesn't, esp. when the one that doesn't USED to be big into sports, etc. He now has a bit of a belly, and he knows it. Would I EVER say "don't take this the wrong way but you're kinda starting to look pregnant"...? No.

Bottom line, yes he needs to deal. I don't feel like I'm doing anything unwise or unhealthy.

[BendtheBar]

Originally Posted by DieselWeasel

I try to eliminate all toxicity in my life, whether it's high fructose corn syrup, monosodium glutamate, aspartame, sucralose, soy, vaccines, or people.

It took me a long time to learn to avoid toxic people. Good quote.

And I know what you're saying EV. I'm sure we're only seeing a small part of your fiance. My wife has small "issues" that she is working through, but she's definitely not toxic. We all need room to grow.

[IronManlet]

Smexie avatar, EV.

Where's ma wurkout?

[ElementalVirago]

Originally Posted by IronManlet

Smexie avatar, EV.

Where's ma wurkout?

Smexie? Translate, please. LOL

[IronManlet]

Originally Posted by ElementalVirago

Smexie? Translate, please. LOL

Sexy*