Muscle and Brawn Forums
 

Go Back   Muscle and Brawn Forums > General > General Board

Notices

General Board You can talk about anything here. Life, sports, rants, whatever.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-02-2012, 10:29 AM   #1
Hazzard
Hazzard
is proud to represent Muscle and Brawn. And Pop Tarts.
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 5,710, Level: 48 Points: 5,710, Level: 48 Points: 5,710, Level: 48
Activity: 10% Activity: 10% Activity: 10%
 
Hazzard's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,522
Training Type: Powerlifting
Fav Exercise: Squat
Fav Supp: Pizza
My Mood: Sleepy
Reputation: 1950
Hazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good posts


Default "2012's Hottest New Exercise Trends" thread of failed new year resolutions.

The epitome of quality journalism that is MSN (yes, I still have a Hotmail account, sue me) has put up a list of the best ways to get back in shape this upcoming year. And in typical Hazzman style I thought it would be fun to mock and lambast them for it, as well as throw in our own experiences with random fitness and training equipment.

Anyway, here's my (somewhat cynical) paraphrasing of their list:

10. Fitbit Ultra - an electronic device that you place in your home and uses some sort of 3D tracking technology to record your habits and physical movements of the day. Which you can then upload to your computer. Fantastic. It would probably develop some sort of digital aneurysm if it totalled how often people masturbated in our uni house.
9. Beaming - this is a class where you stand on a a squishy beam that's 2 inches high and placed on the floor. Apparently is works on four principles: "Balance your body, Engage your core, Align your spine and Move through life". Jesus Christ.
8. Funk The Buddha (yes, really...) - seems to be yoga, but with live DJs. It costs 20 a session. For yoga. But with a DJ. What.
7. Spinning - Okay, yeah, spinning is great and has been around for a while. It basically seems to say that new classes are offering a choice in music and level of difficulty. Nothing wrong with that I guess.
6. Nostalgia Workouts - I have to say, despite my cynicism (a wonderfully British trait), this actually sounds pretty cool. Inevitably it will cost too much for what it ultimately is (it's in London after all...), but it seems to essentially focus on the gym stuff we did back in school - climbing ropes and beams, squats, lunges. No exercise machines. It's kind of wrapped up in a fad packaging, but the idea behind it is great.
5. Padel Tennis - Like tennis, but with... paddles... (no, that's not a typo in the name) rather than racquets. I guess any sport that gets people moving is good so I can't really complain about this.
4. Freestyle Fitness - There are some good components of this - blasts straps and kettlebells mainly, but there's also a bunch of useless crap like the ViPR and bosu balls. People can use stuff like the ViPR (a hollowed out rubber tube with handles), whatever, but it's when it's claimed to be a "fitness revolution" that it irritates me. It's essentially a barbell. But rubber. I'm going to make one out of glass and call it "move really ****ing slowly so you don't end up with shards of glass in your face"-training. Freestyle fitness seems to be all the random stuff you see in fitness centres that gym instructors are told to push to clients.
3. Puma Faas - Apparently this is another new breed of exercise class based on Usain Bolt's fitness regime, with plyo, speed work and suchlike. Oh, and you get to experience it with a "pumping Jamaican soundtrack". Because he's black.
2. Back to Hockey - Trying to get women (sexist) to play field hockey like they did back in the day at school. There are actually some good ideas on this list that make me feel like I should've looked through it before writing this thread! Again, getting people to play sports. Sounds good.
1. Health Concierge Companies - the version of a personal trainer for rich people. Apparently these companies will sort out your fitness and nutrition as well as give you a "complete health overhaul". Great. If you're the laziest human being in existence and want to pay overpaid Gillian McKeith-alikes to design every iota of your existence. Fantastic.

Here's the source for people who desire to read it.

Note: this is a (slightly) tongue-in-cheek response to the article and I'll admit that anything that gets people up and moving is positive, but if people simply took their time to research then they'd realise that they'd get much better results without the latest training or diet fad.
__________________
Hazzard is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Old 01-02-2012, 10:39 AM   #2
BendtheBar
BendtheBar
is getting skinny(ish)
Bearded Beast of Duloc
Max Brawn
Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100 Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100 Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100
Activity: 99% Activity: 99% Activity: 99%
 
BendtheBar's Avatar
 
Extreme Mini Golf Champion!Tournaments Won: 6

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 79,095
Training Exp: 20+ years
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Deadlift
Fav Supp: Butter
My Mood: Lurking
Reputation: 2480483
BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!
Default

I want a Funk the Buddha now!

__________________
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Destroy That Which Destroys You

"Let bravery be thy choice, but not bravado."


BendtheBar is online now   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-02-2012, 11:24 AM   #3
5kgLifter
5kgLifter
loves teddy bears...
Kettlebells' Angel !!!!
Max Brawn
Points: 23,645, Level: 94 Points: 23,645, Level: 94 Points: 23,645, Level: 94
Activity: 11% Activity: 11% Activity: 11%
 
5kgLifter's Avatar
Default

Fitness trends never cease to amuse.
__________________
36.5 kg /80.3 lb Middle-Finger DL (right hand)...
5kgLifter is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-02-2012, 11:42 AM   #4
BendtheBar
BendtheBar
is getting skinny(ish)
Bearded Beast of Duloc
Max Brawn
Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100 Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100 Points: 1,354,670, Level: 100
Activity: 99% Activity: 99% Activity: 99%
 
BendtheBar's Avatar
 
Extreme Mini Golf Champion!Tournaments Won: 6

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 79,095
Training Exp: 20+ years
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Deadlift
Fav Supp: Butter
My Mood: Lurking
Reputation: 2480483
BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!
Default

Funk the Buddha and Zumba are fun words to say. My mouth is exercising
__________________
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Destroy That Which Destroys You

"Let bravery be thy choice, but not bravado."


BendtheBar is online now   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-04-2012, 02:13 PM   #5
Hazzard
Hazzard
is proud to represent Muscle and Brawn. And Pop Tarts.
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 5,710, Level: 48 Points: 5,710, Level: 48 Points: 5,710, Level: 48
Activity: 10% Activity: 10% Activity: 10%
 
Hazzard's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,522
Training Type: Powerlifting
Fav Exercise: Squat
Fav Supp: Pizza
My Mood: Sleepy
Reputation: 1950
Hazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good postsHazzard has made some good posts


Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kgLifter View Post
Fitness trends never cease to amuse.
Indeed, more awareness needs of be made of the benefits of simply training using a barbell or whatever.
__________________
Hazzard is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-04-2012, 02:17 PM   #6
LtL
LtL
is loving life.
SHFW
Max Brawn
Points: 35,003, Level: 100 Points: 35,003, Level: 100 Points: 35,003, Level: 100
Activity: 22% Activity: 22% Activity: 22%
 
LtL's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 11,710
Training Exp: 5 years
Training Type: Powerlifting
Fav Exercise: Deadlifts
Fav Supp: Endurance BCAA
My Mood: Cheerful
Reputation: 445520
LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!


Default

Nice write up. I lol'd subversively.

LtL
LtL is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-04-2012, 02:17 PM   #7
5kgLifter
5kgLifter
loves teddy bears...
Kettlebells' Angel !!!!
Max Brawn
Points: 23,645, Level: 94 Points: 23,645, Level: 94 Points: 23,645, Level: 94
Activity: 11% Activity: 11% Activity: 11%
 
5kgLifter's Avatar
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazzard View Post
Indeed, more awareness needs of be made of the benefits of simply training using a barbell or whatever.
The first thing I do every January is go and have a look at the latest fitness DVDs to hit the shelf, it's good for a laugh; and the content pretty much never alters, it's always some Bootcamp style set-up, a yoga set-up, and a dance DVD, along with the 5 or /10-minute only stuff which never takes less than 40 minutes if you add all the body parts up.
__________________
36.5 kg /80.3 lb Middle-Finger DL (right hand)...
5kgLifter is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-04-2012, 02:30 PM   #8
T-Bone
T-Bone
in the groove.
The Beardo Weirdo
Max Brawn
Points: 6,038, Level: 50 Points: 6,038, Level: 50 Points: 6,038, Level: 50
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
T-Bone's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Shenandoah Valley
Posts: 1,603
Training Exp: 7
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Squat
My Mood: Inspired
Reputation: 31724
T-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machine
Default

I'm surprised a Fitness Surrogate wasn't on there. (the concept just occurred to me.)

People pay ME to exercise FOR them. I get rich and they get to tell their friends how strong I'm getting. Why the heck not...they throw their money away at gyms anyway and never go.
__________________
KMRIA

"There's nothing wrong with being a large mammal." - Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison - The Doors (1991)

Sergey Krastio Trelawny

Last edited by T-Bone; 01-04-2012 at 03:13 PM. Reason: grammar
T-Bone is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Old 01-04-2012, 02:56 PM   #9
_J_
_J_
is looking for the devine
Chalk Rebel
Uber Brawn
Points: 2,899, Level: 32 Points: 2,899, Level: 32 Points: 2,899, Level: 32
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
Default

These are my immediate thoughts on the names of some of these trends (I've omitted the legitimate sounding ones, ala "spinning"). Just shooting from the hip based on the name only:

Fitbit Ultra - an electronic device that you put in your mouth that decides what you can and cannot eat.

Beaming - very expensive treatment where Star Trek-like transporters just teleport the fat off of you.

Funk The Buddha-some sort of nude pilates/yoga. I can't be the only one that got that impression.

Nostalgia Workouts - Group therapy where everyone talks about the times they used to work out and how huge/awesome they were.

Padel Tennis - basically ping pong against an Indian (dot not feather)

Freestyle Fitness - a cool sounding name for parkour.

Health Concierge Companies - you pay someone to strap themselves to your body and workout for you. You get some of the benefit while putting forth very little effort.
_J_ is offline   Reply With Quote


Share with Facebook
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
failed, resolutions, thread, year


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
"toning"...waht you really mean is "lean out" TitanCT General Fitness & Health 9 04-25-2012 07:22 PM
The official MAB "How many eggs did you eat today?" thread Soldier Nutrition, Diet and Supplements 41 12-24-2011 09:23 AM
"You're fat!"... "O yeah, well you're a weak bish!" PCT Training Logs 256 03-31-2011 11:24 AM
"THE" Picture Thread BendtheBar General Board 100 03-07-2011 06:01 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.