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Old 09-28-2011, 10:30 AM   #101
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Rule #95...be prepared and on the look out. When your wife or children head to the kitchen, have them bring you back something with calories.
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Old 09-28-2011, 10:34 AM   #102
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Rule 96# All of your chat-up lines involve food, as in;

"I'll have a piece of that crumpet, love" or when you say "i'll have fries and a shake with THAT!" and you're actually dead serious. You would have a fries and shake with that.


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Old 09-28-2011, 10:44 AM   #103
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^ That sucker needs an ice breaker because the Titanic is heading in it's direction.
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Old 09-28-2011, 02:05 PM   #104
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97. if your kids' friends think you are a wrestler

98. if you sleep with a CPAP

99. If you wear your CPAP after tying your shoe...

100. If you snore between sets...
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Old 09-28-2011, 03:41 PM   #105
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Rule 101: Know where the crapper is at all times, never trust a fart!
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Old 09-28-2011, 06:41 PM   #106
BendtheBar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goat View Post
Rule 101: Know where the crapper is at all times, never trust a fart!
Words to live by.
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Old 09-28-2011, 06:54 PM   #107
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Rule 102: If your wife says that your eyes are too small for your head, you are on the right track.
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Old 09-28-2011, 07:01 PM   #108
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103: Callouses are badges of honor (unless your better half wants to start a war over them).
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Old 09-29-2011, 04:01 AM   #109
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Rule 104 - If your snacks are bigger than most people's meals, you're on the right track.

Rule 105 - Bigger is better.

Rule 106 - If you can't drive a hatchback (compact car for our US cousins) without needing to warm-up first, you're doing something right.

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Old 09-29-2011, 05:51 PM   #110
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107. If the word "supersize" bring joy to your heart.

108. The family picture says to be continued...

109. If the scale says "still computing" when you step on it...
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