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Old 05-28-2013, 09:40 AM   #1
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Default RANT!!!! Support at Home

Please indulge me as i vent some frustration!!!!

Those of you who have a very supportive wife, hubby, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, etc. consider yourself very fortunate. You probably do not realize how much better lifting life is, as compared to those of us who do not have one.

My wife will tell everyone who will listen how supportive she is of my training...but when ever the support infringed 1% on something she wants...the support is GONE. I could give 14 million examples of things she does (or dosen't do) but that is not what this post is about.

I get so super PO'ed at her, so often...it is taking energy away from areas that need it...and I guarantee it is holding back my progress.

The biggest thing I hate is.....when I bring it to her attention....she really dosent care.......

Sometimes I wonder why I stick around...

ANYWAY...thanks for the opportunity to vent....I truly apologize for having to post my problems here, but I dont think anywhere / anyone else would truly understand.
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Old 05-28-2013, 09:53 AM   #2
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Vent away my friend. We all need it sometimes.
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Old 05-28-2013, 10:09 AM   #3
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Sorry to hear that Moe. I wish I could say something magical to make that change.

Just remember how much you've changed and inspired people, and feel free to vent at any time.

Has she ever taken any interest in exercise or lifting?
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Old 05-28-2013, 10:42 AM   #4
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that is extremely tough. I know how u feel. Something that i have been doing lately is taking a day off to just spend with the GF. Maybe try working around what she wants for a little and use that as like "see i do this all for you and you cant support me", type of thing.

Its tough to discuss things that the other person knows they are wrong because most people dont like to hear it. Good vent though man
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Old 05-28-2013, 11:41 AM   #5
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Cool

I have encountered people who can dismiss your most cherished goals with utmost cavalierness.

This can be cruelty.

It can be an inability to empathize with other people.

Inability to empathize can range from garden variety insensitivity, to narcissism and sociopathy.

Or it may be for some other obscure but nonetheless annoying reason.

Arguing with irrational people only encourages their irrationality, because it reinforces the idea that their position is arguable.

A friend who studied psychiatry quoted the Axiom:

Question:

"How do you stop unacceptable behavior?"

Answer:

"You Stop the unacceptable behavior."

You don't really say in what way she is unsupportive.

She falls to her knees and clings to your ankles every time you head out the door, bawling and blubbering and begging you not to go?

You tell her that you Squatted 705 pounds and she yawns and says that she did her nails—implying the two acts are of equal significance?

When you're cutting, she brings a big bowl of cake and ice cream with lots of chocolate syrup and hands it to you when you're watching TV and not expecting a will-power test?

You just need to take the attitude:

"While some things may be Negotiable, my training is not.

"I will train__hours per week, on__, __and__...And__if I need to;

"And everything else that you may plan for me will have to be scheduled around that time block."

I'm not really good at Personal Engineering—but sometimes I have a little different take on things.

Maybe something I said will help you.

If not, I wish you well.


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Old 05-28-2013, 12:36 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moeheep View Post
Please indulge me as i vent some frustration!!!!

Those of you who have a very supportive wife, hubby, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, etc. consider yourself very fortunate. You probably do not realize how much better lifting life is, as compared to those of us who do not have one.

My wife will tell everyone who will listen how supportive she is of my training...but when ever the support infringed 1% on something she wants...the support is GONE. I could give 14 million examples of things she does (or dosen't do) but that is not what this post is about.

I get so super PO'ed at her, so often...it is taking energy away from areas that need it...and I guarantee it is holding back my progress.

The biggest thing I hate is.....when I bring it to her attention....she really dosent care.......

Sometimes I wonder why I stick around...

ANYWAY...thanks for the opportunity to vent....I truly apologize for having to post my problems here, but I dont think anywhere / anyone else would truly understand.
Im in the exact same spot myself. Ill rant away with you.

All my girlfriend can do is complain about my supplements and the food bills, and thay my self estem is to low that I have to get bigger. I hear this every day. Also she complains alot about the mony I put on supplements. She is very upset when I go to the gym since she thinks it's me neglecting the family and being ego.

Sure, I agree I am a bit obsessed. Fine.

Thing is that my woman had 4 horses that she could not afford to start with. She then got 2 more, fine its her money and spare time. I help her out as a good husband, I spend about 20-30h every month at the stables doing maintenance etc, this is taking away time from my own interest - lifting.

She also spends 1-3 hour EVERY day to attend the horses, sometimes more.

We have 4 kids so have to spend our free time between us evenly. I now go to school fulltime and it means Im away from home for 10h every day. I also work night all fridays and saturdays to pay the bills. Im not home much but everything I do, I do for my family. Except training, That I do for myself.

She spend about 150$ in gas money, and 400$ on SUPPLEMENTS to her horses, every month.

She complains about my supplementation witch is about 200$ MAX a month.


She also is super pissed at me for leaving her with the kids some nights to go to the gym. She just leaves to her damn horses as soon as she gets the chance. She also has certain ways of making me feel guilty for not being home with her and the little ones and on some days, it effects my traing badly once in the gym.

It has now come to the point that she refuses to share the rest of the households supplyes (milk, egg, bread etc) with me since Im eating to much.



I dont know how to handle this, I guess its just a minor thing but Iam going nuts on some days!

Thanks for letting me get this of my chest.


Youre not alone brother! =))
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Old 05-28-2013, 12:40 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by big_swede View Post
Im in the exact same spot myself. Ill rant away with you.

All my girlfriend can do is complain about my supplements and the food bills, and thay my self estem is to low that I have to get bigger. I hear this every day. Also she complains alot about the mony I put on supplements. She is very upset when I go to the gym since she thinks it's me neglecting the family and being ego.

Sure, I agree I am a bit obsessed. Fine.

Thing is that my woman had 4 horses that she could not afford to start with. She then got 2 more, fine its her money and spare time. I help her out as a good husband, I spend about 20-30h every month at the stables doing maintenance etc, this is taking away time from my own interest - lifting.

She also spends 1-3 hour EVERY day to attend the horses, sometimes more.

We have 4 kids so have to spend our free time between us evenly. I now go to school fulltime and it means Im away from home for 10h every day. I also work night all fridays and saturdays to pay the bills. Im not home much but everything I do, I do for my family. Except training, That I do for myself.

She spend about 150$ in gas money, and 400$ on SUPPLEMENTS to her horses, every month.

She complains about my supplementation witch is about 200$ MAX a month.


She also is super pissed at me for leaving her with the kids some nights to go to the gym. She just leaves to her damn horses as soon as she gets the chance. She also has certain ways of making me feel guilty for not being home with her and the little ones and on some days, it effects my traing badly once in the gym.

It has now come to the point that she refuses to share the rest of the households supplyes (milk, egg, bread etc) with me since Im eating to much.



I dont know how to handle this, I guess its just a minor thing but Iam going nuts on some days!

Thanks for letting me get this of my chest.


Youre not alone brother! =))
Wow! Have you ever laid it out to her, the way you just did here? It might not help, if she's unreasonable and not willing to see the facts, but on the other hand, it may help to put things into perspective for her.
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Old 05-28-2013, 12:42 PM   #8
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Wow! Have you ever laid it out to her, the way you just did here? It might not help, if she's unreasonable and not willing to see the facts, but on the other hand, it may help to put things into perspective for her.
Tried it, several times and she gets mad =)

My woman has a hot temper (to say the least!) and needs to fiure out the obvious for herself sometimes to accept it.

No problem, I can wait =)
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Old 05-28-2013, 12:44 PM   #9
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Tried it, several times and she gets mad =)

My woman has a hot temper (to say the least!) and needs to fiure out the obvious for herself sometimes to accept it.

No problem, I can wait =)
You're a very patient person, that's all I can say Mind you, the bit about needing/wanting to get bigger because of self-esteem, I don't get where she gets that from, since that's normally not the case.
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Old 05-28-2013, 12:55 PM   #10
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Well that really sucks Marvin and Swede! I had a somewhat similar thing in my home til I explained a few things.
First if I were doing what I had done in the past to get fat, ie eat lots of fast food and junk food, the money spent on my supplements and good foods ends up being less expensive.
I also compared something she liked doing with lifting to put it into perspective for her. After that there's been no big arguments.
Not to say that'll work for you guys, as we all know women are crazy !
Hope you both find a way to make things better at home!
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