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Old 01-09-2014, 06:07 PM   #1
Soldier
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Default In a major funk

Some of you may have noticed that I've been awol for a few weeks. I've been training religiously, as always, but I've found myself unmotivated to log or talk about training stuff. I feel like I'm completely directionless at the moment with my training, and I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I've never been gifted when it comes to training. I've had to accept that I'll always have a little more fat, a little less muscle, and be a little weaker than other people. That may seem defeatist, but it's true. Lately, it's gotten worse than ever. When I eat for strength and muscle I do gain size and get stronger, but I gain too much fat. When I try to cut any of the fat I absolutely lose every bit of strength and muscle I gained. I keep ending up in the exact same place no matter what I do. I have to choose between fat and strong and lean and weak, and it SUCKS. The worst part is absolutely working my ass off only to find myself in the exact same place 6 months later. Same weight, same numbers on my lifts.

Some of you may remember that I was quite strong a little while back. This was mostly from my experimentation with prohormones (essentially steroids). That's another part of the problem. Not only does my wife abhor me using, we also have baby #2 officially on the way, so I just can't afford to keep cycling gear. Because of a poor choice of diet (Low carb. My body hates low carb. I sure wish I hadn't had to learn that the hard way.) and going natty, I lost every bit of strength I had when I was on. At this point I don't even know if it's possible for me to EVER be that strong again naturally, and that thought robs me of any motivation to train for strength.

I went from repping out on squats with 385 and hitting 315x10 (Both 100% raw) to almost getting pinned by 315 only a matter of months later.

I just don't know where to go from here. I tried to get really lean a couple months ago, and not only did I fail to really get that lean, I lost even more strength in the process. I tried some bodybuilding and failed miserably because I couldn't build muscle without getting fat. Currently I'm weaker than I want to be, but I also find myself too fat, and I certainly don't have as much muscle as I want to have. No matter what I train for I can't win, because whichever one of these I choose to train for, I have to sacrifice the other 2.

On top of all this, my foot is still messed up. I can't do ANY cardio and my only conditioning training is squats. I have an appointment for a treatment called "shockwave" next month which actually required me to take 2 weeks off of work because it will basically leave me unable to walk or even drive for a while. I don't even think it'll work. Nothing else has.

I don't know...maybe I should take a break? I love training, it keeps me going, but training with no goal seems pointless. I can't focus on one thing, but if I try to train for strength while staying lean my tires just spin in the mud.
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Old 01-09-2014, 06:40 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Soldier View Post
I love training, it keeps me going, but training with no goal seems pointless.
To love training is a goal in and of itself. Its an awesome one, too; because its all yours and you dont have to share it with anyone else.
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:49 PM   #3
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I've always regretted breaks. I suggest 2 things:

1) Just doing some crazy ass program for fun, like DC training or Max Stim or whatever. Maybe do them all, try Heavy Duty...whatever.

2) Try a competition, bodybuilding or powerlifting. Pencil in a date and just do it come hell or high water.
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Old 01-09-2014, 07:50 PM   #4
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I've recently cycled off my first round of gear and am back on (after 3 months off). The comparo to geared vs. non-geared is going to be a set up for disappointment.

Some of your numbers were approaching "high" for natty anyway and progress from this point would be slow, even if you made lifting your job.

Since you have a career and a family, you are to be applauded for keeping the balance. Enjoy your gym time, but don't let it rob you of the greater joys in life. Maybe it's a season of "mediocre" until you get more time, etc. Stay as strong and fit as possible, but allow it to drop a bit in your priorities if necessary.

Check this out: http://muscleandbrawn.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15889

You're doing better than you think but there's always progress to be made. It's a winner's/achiever's attitude to say "not good enough" and keep trying.

A goal is motivating and can help shape your training. However, a goal like "bigger" or "stronger" is not clear enough. You have to sign up for a contest, meet, race, etc. to give your goal purpose and a dead line.

You have ability and knowledge enough to meet and exceed your potential, just think about what would be the proper measure of reaching that goal.
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Old 01-09-2014, 08:19 PM   #5
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Thanks for the input guys. I think I'm just going to be in a holding pattern for the moment. I'm sure things will shift soon.

Part of the issue, as if things weren't complicated enough, is that I can't get too fat. I have to stay lean enough to pass the Army test for bodyfat. So far in my Army career I've managed to pass every time, sometimes by the skin of my teeth, sometimes with room to spare. I do know that it used to be much easier when I could do cardio.

As far as the break, when I have this shockwave treatment I'll have a forced break for a while. Evidently I won't even be able to walk for at least a few days.

The truth is that I'm really just impatient. Combine that with shitty genetics and my busy schedule and things get tough sometimes.

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Originally Posted by BendtheBar View Post
I've always regretted breaks. I suggest 2 things:

1) Just doing some crazy ass program for fun, like DC training or Max Stim or whatever. Maybe do them all, try Heavy Duty...whatever.

2) Try a competition, bodybuilding or powerlifting. Pencil in a date and just do it come hell or high water.
I've actually been doing the partial movement training. It's been interesting, especially because I actually don't know how effective it will be, because most of the heavy work is with partials. I basically haven't done any full ROM maximal strength work for a couple months. You know me, I love programs, and the more "gimmicky" the better.
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Old 01-09-2014, 08:20 PM   #6
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Just to echo what others said...
1) Definitely sign up for some type of contest for reasons stated above
2) Recognize that you may need a bit of break. Even if you're not physically exhausted, a couple weeks away from the iron might help reignite your love for the iron.
3) Do you count calories? You talk about not being able to put on muscle without gaining substantial fat. Have you tried lean bulking? I've been lean bulking since September gaining roughly 1 lb/month and have pretty much put on 0 fat. I am younger and less experienced, however.

Whatever the case may be, I wish you the best of luck in remedying this problem. We're all here to support ya!
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Old 01-09-2014, 08:46 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Henry19 View Post
Just to echo what others said...
1) Definitely sign up for some type of contest for reasons stated above
2) Recognize that you may need a bit of break. Even if you're not physically exhausted, a couple weeks away from the iron might help reignite your love for the iron.
3) Do you count calories? You talk about not being able to put on muscle without gaining substantial fat. Have you tried lean bulking? I've been lean bulking since September gaining roughly 1 lb/month and have pretty much put on 0 fat. I am younger and less experienced, however.

Whatever the case may be, I wish you the best of luck in remedying this problem. We're all here to support ya!
Thanks man. Yes, I have counted calories. I won't lie, sometimes my willpower can't keep up with my knowledge. I had planned about 4 months back to get really lean then bulk back up really slowly, but I didn't come even close to reaching my bodyfat % goals in my cut. My body has never wanted to give up fat. As I write that it totally sounds like a cop out, but in this last cut I was averaging 1700 calories a day and I still couldn't get even close to 200lb at 6' tall, and at the time I was using every trick in the book, including carb and calories cycling. I decided that it wouldn't be healthy to drop below that, mentally or physically.
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Old 01-09-2014, 08:56 PM   #8
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Thanks man. Yes, I have counted calories. I won't lie, sometimes my willpower can't keep up with my knowledge. I had planned about 4 months back to get really lean then bulk back up really slowly, but I didn't come even close to reaching my bodyfat % goals in my cut. My body has never wanted to give up fat. As I write that it totally sounds like a cop out, but in this last cut I was averaging 1700 calories a day and I still couldn't get even close to 200lb at 6' tall, and at the time I was using every trick in the book, including carb and calories cycling. I decided that it wouldn't be healthy to drop below that, mentally or physically.
FWIW - 1700 sounds way low for your height, bodyweight, and activitiy level. No wonder energy and strength tanked...
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Old 01-09-2014, 09:50 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by BendtheBar View Post
I've always regretted breaks. I suggest 2 things:

1) Just doing some crazy ass program for fun, like DC training or Max Stim or whatever. Maybe do them all, try Heavy Duty...whatever.

2) Try a competition, bodybuilding or powerlifting. Pencil in a date and just do it come hell or high water.
I did some more thinking about it, and I think you may have hit the nail on the head, not surprisingly. I did some looking into it and I think that I'm going to try DC. Some of the program sticks to things I've had success with in the past, and some of it takes me way out of my comfort zone, like doing heavy compound lifts last.

Thanks again my friend. It's great to have so many experienced friends in my back pocket when I need them.
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Old 01-09-2014, 09:55 PM   #10
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FWIW - 1700 sounds way low for your height, bodyweight, and activitiy level. No wonder energy and strength tanked...
Exactly! I was cycling between 1200 and 2000 calories and the scale wouldn't budge. Maybe things would have gone better if I hadn't started with low carb dieting. It worked so well at first, but after a couple weeks all it helped me lose was strength.
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