How do you deal with this?

[gymjunkie]

Originally Posted by Fazc

You can't live your life caring about what people think Just do what makes you happy.

Exactly. Do what you want to do and do not care if anyone is in your way. You need to be happy and deserve that.

[Chillen]

Originally Posted by samW

I was talking to a friend and said that I was going to get into body building so I could have more self esteem. She was like why do you want to do that? Do you realize you will look gross all muscular and all? Why do people have to be this way and what can you say to them when they say it?

Opinions in relation to one's goal wants are like butt holes, everyone has one: Personally I don't give a damn what people think about my personal fitness goals. One of the beauties of lifting iron or having other exercise activities, is that these provide a "plethora of different goal opportunities" to select from based on---what is within your own heart or other personal need (such as medical, etc). I remember when I was fricken fat in my late 40's and all the back pain and other pain I had experienced prior to setting fitness goals. Since then I have learned what my body likes and responds well too, and my body "likes" being lean and pays it forward in making me feel great nearly every day and without--age related pain, and looking and feeling far better than most people half my age. I train for endurance, overall fitness, and strength, and when you add in consistency and dietary elements, one tends to look like they have these goals, and I like my abs, and the ones that do not can--suck it. . I listen to educational opportnuties, and not uneducated responses or inept person not in the know. Trust me on that.


Don

[Tannhauser]

Originally Posted by samW

I was talking to a friend and said that I was going to get into body building so I could have more self esteem. She was like why do you want to do that? Do you realize you will look gross all muscular and all? Why do people have to be this way and what can you say to them when they say it?

Why do people have to be what way? From your account she's expressing an opinion, which she is quite entitled to do, and which you are equally at liberty to ignore.

Many people don't like the bodybuilder shape, particularly when it's very big guys approaching contest shape. It just looks ungainly, out of proportion and unnatural to them. What you could explain, if you have the patience, is that 'bodybuilder' could mean a whole variety of different body shapes. Show her some pictures of Steve Reeves and see if she thinks that looks gross.

If you want to bodybuild, and you feel it will help you feel bettter about yourself - good for you, go ahead and do it. But you can't expect everyone to think it's a worthwhile goal.

[Tannhauser]

Originally Posted by gymjunkie

Exactly. Do what you want to do and do not care if anyone is in your way. You need to be happy and deserve that.

Easy, tiger. Have you thought this statement through?

[Off Road]

It has to be an inner pursuit, not an external one. If your self-esteem is based on your muscles and your strength, how are you going to feel when you run into the many, many, many guys that are twice as strong as you or twice as big as you. Will these individuals squash your self-esteem?

The pursuit of strength and size should be a life long journey that brings fulfillment in the steps along the way. Do not look for admiration from others to validate your own self worth. There just aren't that many people in your life that will care that you get bigger and stronger, and those that do care just aren't really worth it.

Strength and size are worthy goals, just don't base your self-esteem on such things. Get an education, marry a fine woman, raise respectable kids; these are goals worthy of EVERYBODY's admiration.

[leefarley]

all i can say is do what you have to do.

[lowcarbguy]

Originally Posted by samW

I was talking to a friend and said that I was going to get into body building so I could have more self esteem. She was like why do you want to do that? Do you realize you will look gross all muscular and all? Why do people have to be this way and what can you say to them when they say it?

Seems to me like she is trying to bring your self esteem down. Do not let her words be the deciding factor in what you do. Do what makes you happy and that is all that matters.

[5kgLifter]

Maybe I have a shorter memory than the rest but pretty sure samW is a female which is why the question is more of an annoyance about "becoming/looking muscular or gross".

Sam, you're gonna come across lots of that kind of rubbish and you're going to have to learn to ignore and reject it.

[Off Road]

Originally Posted by 5kgLifter

Maybe I have a shorter memory than the rest but pretty sure samW is a female

Oh, what I said still applies though; don't let working out dictate your self-esteem, let it enhance the great person you already are.

[Tannhauser]

Originally Posted by Tannhauser

Show her some pictures of Steve Reeves and see if she thinks that looks gross.

Originally Posted by 5kgLifter

Maybe I have a shorter memory than the rest but pretty sure samW is a female which is why the question is more of an annoyance about "becoming/looking muscular or gross".
.

Ah. Maybe not Reeves then. Show her a picture of Lisa Lyon instead.