BTB's Daily Wisdom aka "Man Training"

[BendtheBar]

Disagree if you like, but you will be wrong...

[BendtheBar]

June 27th, 2011

Never trust a woman when she says, it's ok, I don't need directions.

They always need directions. And even with directions, or a GPS, they will get lost 90% of the time. The 10% of the time they don't get lost, it was simply a case of blind luck. If they say they didn't get lost, they did. They are lying to you so you get no satisfaction.

[LtL]

Male directions:

Take the A4, go through the lights, take the 4th right and you're there.

Female directions:

Go over the big roundabout and and past the pink house with the nice curtains. Go through the lights, straight for a while and the turn right by the big tree.

Funny and true.

LtL

[big_swede]

Good thread chief!

[BendtheBar]

Originally Posted by LtL

Male directions:

Take the A4, go through the lights, take the 4th right and you're there.

Female directions:

Go over the big roundabout and and past the pink house with the nice curtains. Go through the lights, straight for a while and the turn right by the big tree.

Funny and true.

LtL

I just had to guide with wife through a roundabout 10 minutes ago. I think she drove in circles 7 times before she found her street...

[BendtheBar]

June 27th, 2011

When you make a mistake and a woman say's it's ok, it's NOT ok.

Make sure you take the following 4 steps:

1) Apologize with all your heart.
2) Buy her flowers and chocolates the next day.
3) Watch Grease, Ghost or Dirty Dancing with her (without falling asleep).
4) Don't make the damn mistake again you fool, or you will never hear the end of it. See, you always...blah, blah, blah...

[BendtheBar]

June 27th, 2011

If you can't open a pickle jar, get a dish cloth or rag, moisten it, and place the rag over the lid. Then turn.

[BendtheBar]

June 28th, 2011

Having kids? Prep your man-chair with a multi-head screwdriver, various batteries, tape and a scissors.

Your children will have more gadgets and battery driven toys than you can imagine. Keep at least 8 of each battery at your man-chair, as well as a multi-head screwdriver.

Also, your kids will be asking for a scissors and tape 17 times each day. I know this doesn't make sense to you now, but do it. Kids are infatuated with scissors and tape.

Please place all of these items in a small locked tackle box near your man-chair. This will save you 17 hours a year of getting up every 47 minutes.

[LtL]

This thread is replete with win!

LtL

[storm1507]

Here is one I finally took to heart. This is from my own experiences....


Never, never, never lie to your wife. You will soon forget the details of your lie....even the small innocent ones. But, if you slip up 20 years later.....you're toast.