Sept. is National Mustache Month

[Trevor Lane]

National Mustache Month: Celebrate Being a Man with Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness

NATIONAL MUSTACHE MONTH
Celebrate Being A Man In September

Rather than writing up another incredibly awesome article about retards or pissant school teachers, I have decided that to celebrate something all of us should hold dear. That something is the ability to display our manliness with facial hair! I have illuminated the greatness of facial hair before but this is a different sort of article.

I, Arthur, proclaim September to be “National Mustache Month”. Why September and why the mustache specifically?

September marks the end of summer in the worthwhile part of the world and serves as a reminder that the winter months are coming. What would winter be without facial hair? After all, there is a reason why we have it in the first place. September also brings the football with it. Football (The actual game, not the game where you play footsies with a round ball you Euro pussies) is the ultimate expression in sporting manliness. So September is a great month to do something manly.

Growing a mustache is manly for a variety of reasons.

1) It pisses women off and yet makes you irresistible to them. They don’t know why... but you do OR you will find out when you grow one this September.

2) It is not socially acceptable. Apologies to those in uniforms who are limited to growing moustaches, but to the average person a moustache screams child molester, porn star, creep or asshole. Most of those are deliberate mistruths sold to you by a society that is hostile to manliness. Every one knows that a child molester can’t grow a proper stache anyway, they grow those “Molestaches”. You know the ones with 6 hairs grown by dysgenic deviant ****s native to trailer parks. Again, rebellion and contrarianism is central to manliness.

3) It counters every modern trend for men. In an age where men are getting manicures, shaving their bodies growing a mustache is a profound statement that you don’t buy into this post-modern feminized society. It harkens back to a better day when men were men.

4) It will boost your performance in the gym. When you look at yourself prior to a deadlift set and you are sporting a manly mustache the pride you feel will compel you to beat your personal best by at least 25 pounds. I have heard stories of a mustache being responsible for 100 pound PR’s but I cannot substantiate that. Needless to say, you will be a beast in the gym.

5) Because Sam Elliott says so



I will be starting an event on Facebook to invite every man on the planet to join us for National Mustache Month. You can find the event HERE.

It is incumbent on each and everyone of you to pass the invite on to spread the word about our great event. We will be posting pictures of our manly mustaches on the Facebook Fan Page. I fully expect to see your mustache proudly displayed. By doing so you are making a statement that you are a MAN and proud of it.

[hugerobb]

Ive got my mustache had one 30yrs.

[dmaipa]

i wish i could grow a mustache...haha

[sneezingstardust]

I'm growing an epic stache.

[Trevor Lane]

Originally Posted by hugerobb

Ive got my mustache had one 30yrs.

Well post a pic of it in Sept on Arthur's Hall of Viking Manliness | Facebook

Originally Posted by sneezingstardust

I'm growing an epic stache.

[ElementalVirago]

Originally Posted by sneezingstardust

I'm growing an epic stache.

Yes, this ^^ for me too.

[rippednmichigan]

Pics ladies!!

[BendtheBar]

Whichever female grows the best mustache wins a year's supply of generic razors from MAB!

[andys_trim]

I couldn't grow a stache if I tried.