Top 10 reasons we should all take steroids

[jslep]

I wanted to dispel some of the myths about steroids and its adverse effects on the human body and encourage everyone to take a second look as to why or why not they should choose to cross over to the darkside. Things aren't always what they appear to be and i want everyone to make an informed decision otherwise we are just ignorant sheeple.

Let's start with the con's.......

1. D-bol is taxing on the liver

Let's be honest people are doing far more damage to their livers consuming alcohol at a Wisconsin frat party on any given Friday night then a healthy BBer who eats clean and exercises could possibly be doing with his recreational use of an oral banned substance. Besides the liver is fastest repairing organ in the human body so even if you did some minimal damage with an oral steroid a little liver cleanse from your local GNC will have you good as new in no time.

2. Steroids will make my hair fall out

I actually see this as a bonus. Most BBers are always shaving their heads for competition in the first place. The way i see it this will save you money in the long run on razors. A tan sexy bald guy with a goatee is always in and with the increase in body hair production increased testosterone can provide you will finally grow that full beard out instead of that patchy homeless man looking thing your friends are always teasing you about. It can also provide a nice warm furry coat for those cold winters.

3. Steroids will make my pepe shrink

Ok now this is utterly false. It doesn't make your penis shrink.....it makes your testicles shrink so lets get that straight. It's called testicular atrophy not peniscular atrophy and girls aren't really interested in them anyways. I've never heard a circle of girls sitting around talking about how amazingly large their boyfriends.......you get the idea. Think of it as a form of birth control. Your sperm production will be in the crapper so having that illegitimate child you weren't planning on should be out of the question.

4. I will have anger issues

Now through the time frame of the world there has been all kinds of dictators with all kinds of anger management issues and not once did i see it documented that any of these men were taking an anabolic of any kind. I mean for cryin out loud there are all kinds of inner city gangs and biker gangs that have been dealing a million different kinds of drugs fighting over territories. These are the most violent criminals on the planet and they do it without the use of steroids. I have never once seen a news cast talk about a corrupt group of roid ragers strolling into a town and taking over.

5. Steroids are for cheaters

Cheating at what? Are you telling me that if i compete in a federation that doesn't see the need to worry about the supplement choices of its competitors i am cheating someone. Lets remember people until the 80's the american government hadn't made them illegal and until 1991 they were still legal in america's favorite past time. If the local gym rat wants to put on a little mass so his wife/girlfriend finds him slightly more attractive then i really don't see the problem.


Now lets see the pro's.......

6. My body already produces testosterone

This is a very true and accurate statement so it would only stand to reason that if your body produces it naturally then how could it possibly be harmful to inject some moar. The way i see it the more the better. Testosterone increases protein synthesis in the human body so in combination with a high protein diet high levels of test can give you immediate results in the gym which quite frankly we are all looking for.

7. Will i see immediate results

Well to be honest you can only see immediate results from anabolic steroid use if you combine it with mass amounts of protein which i preluded to above. The use of steriods is not truly just a simple magic pill although its close. You need to provide it with the proper building blocks to create the perfect storm in which you can become the true beast you seek to become. Without the large amounts of protein your body can become catabolic and actually start to atrophy and you can lose mass instead of gain it. So remember this, large amounts of test and large amounts of weight gainer 5000 will equal a large you.

8. It can boost your career

Without the use of steroids you might as well give up on the idea of seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine or getting that elusive supplement contract that you have been searching for. No one wants to see some skinny runt on the cover of flex telling him about how he does 20 reps for 20 sets to get his 15" guns. We all know the bigger you are the more valid your advise becomes and no supplement company is gonna front a guy who can't gather a following on social networking. So remember kids..... steroids = contracts = big money = get the girls = happy you!

9. Steroids will make you king

This is true on so many levels i'm not entirely sure were to start. When you go to the gym, when you walk down the street, when you go to the bar, when you simply are just you. Every where you go you will be the envy of everyone around you. Everyone will be asking you how you look so amazing. What is your workout plan? What does your diet look like? How many chicks do you score each week? Quite honestly everyone will want to be you and the self fulfillment you feel inside will be amazing. People have said that steroid use is followed with depression but i couldn't disagree more. The bigger you are the more you will look...act...and feel king. You will always remember that none of it would be possible without that stash of anabolics in your closet and you will never want it to be any different.

10. The darkside has cookies

I cannot confirm or deny this but its a bonus if they do.......


None of the above statements or opinions are linked to muscleandbrawn or BTB check with your local authorities and a doctor before starting a workout regimine of any type.

This has been a jslep publication.

[jdmalm123]

The cookies are delicious!

Who is "pepe?"

[Soldier]

We do have cookies. Large, delicious cookies that are too heavy for most people to lift.

[J_Byrd]

Haha, I enjoyed this! Well written.

[BendtheBar]

2 haters already. The satire was lost on them:

Top 10 Reasons We Should All Take Steroids | Muscle and Brawn Bodybuilding, Powerlifting and Muscle Building.

[BigJosh]

The Freak McBeef picture above the article link on the homepage is awesome.

[jslep]

some people take things so literally....LOL

[The Badass]

I guess I'm young, dumb and naive....what's fact and fiction in all this? I mostly saw good stuff...then again that's the point, huh? There are really no good sides to it unless you suffer from Low "T." Or am I just being naive again?

[J_Byrd]

Originally Posted by jacentk2

I guess I'm young, dumb and naive....what's fact and fiction in all this? I mostly saw good stuff...then again that's the point, huh? There are really no good sides to it unless you suffer from Low "T." Or am I just being naive again?

"10. The dark side has cookies

I cannot confirm or deny this but it’s a bonus if they do……."

This is the absolute truth!


There are plenty of pros and cons. Lot of the cons are really more myth than truth.

[Soldier]

Originally Posted by jacentk2

I guess I'm young, dumb and naive....what's fact and fiction in all this? I mostly saw good stuff...then again that's the point, huh? There are really no good sides to it unless you suffer from Low "T." Or am I just being naive again?

A lot of it is fact wrapped up in a joke, like the part about your nuts shrinking. If you really want to know about steroids, then start doing your own research. It'll take quite a while before you really start to figure things out. Learning about "steroids" is tough, because there is no one "steroid". There are about 80 things that all qualify as anobolic steroids.