Fathers of Athletes

[Off Road]

There seems to be two main types of fathers that have kids that play sports. One type is totally NOT involved. They just drop their kids off at practices and games and go back home to watch TV. Another type is too involved and put too much pressure on the young athletes. They are always yelling at them to improve and to "Man-Up", or what-not.

I do not want to be either of these types with my son who plays football. It's pretty tough too because you want the best for your kid and you want to pass on your knowledge and aggression. But we have to remember that they are just kids having fun and we bring the most passion to the sport.

I have developed a routine that I think works best with my son and I hope it will help you future or current fathers. I want to help and encourage him, but I don't want to be one of those over-bearing a$$holes either. We simply have a conversation after every practice and game with no yelling or tears. I ask him to give me two things he did well and two things he needs to improve on. This allows calm conversation and let's him take ownership of his own actions.

Just thought I'd share...

[BendtheBar]

Thanks for sharing.

I don't push my daughter, but we do talk about the process. I try to focus on numbers, since those are tangible. We look at squat depth with numbers, training volume with numbers, and I show her how slow improvement along with consistent effort leads to big things.

We talk a lot about success away from sports. Finding weaknesses, addressing them, monitoring results.

I think she's starting to get it.

[big valsalva]

Originally Posted by Off Road

I have developed a routine that I think works best with my son and I hope it will help you future or current fathers. I want to help and encourage him, but I don't want to be one of those over-bearing a$$holes either. We simply have a conversation after every practice and game with no yelling or tears. I ask him to give me two things he did well and two things he needs to improve on. This allows calm conversation and let's him take ownership of his own actions.

Just thought I'd share...

Bravo!!!

Sounds a lot like what I do. I have two daughters involved right now. The older one in Jr. high tennis, and the other one in U10 hockey. The older one is just starting out. She has some glaring issues, but the main point (at this level) is, "Did you have fun?" Her coaches always ask her "What did you do well?" followed by, "Where do you think you need to improve?" She hasn't won a match all year, but I always try to find something positive. "Hey! You got a serve over the net!" Of my two children involved in sports, she responds better to immediate feedback.

My middle daughter, on the other hand, likes to chew on things a bit. She's a goaltender, so you need to be careful before you discuss her performance either good or bad. I'll always tell her, "Nice job," and ask her if she had fun, but if she had a bad performance, we never ever talk about it on the way home. If she wants to talk about it, I'll let her bring it up, but as a rule, the car ride home is a safe haven. I like to attend all hockey practices, and if the space is available, I like to watch from the bench and lean over the boards, but I don't ride her or other kids, I'm not in the coaches' faces. I find it difficult to want to be so close to the action, but it hasn't caused any problems so far. If my daughter or a coach would tell me to back away, I suppose I would.

Good thread, Off Road.

[Mr.Silverback]

My oldest is playing volleyball and last week she had an off game and her team lost. While she was a bit upset about her performance, I explained to her that this is part of the game. We all have off days, but how we come back from out determines our character. I find that being supportive and working hard with her goes a long way!