OK, what should I be doing to build though?
Get stronger on basic, heavy compound exercises like squats, bench press, overhead press, rows, deadlifts, pullups, dips. Find a program that has you training 3 days a week, and includes many of these exercises. Focus on improving your form and getting stronger.
Check out some of the workouts on MAB:
Workouts - Muscle and Brawn Forums
I don't know where you workout, or what equipment you have access to, but something like this is a good choice:
Muscle and Brawn Fullbody Workout
There are many choices like this that are equally as good.
I'm not necessarily looking to "lose weight" I'm looking to change weight... does that make sense?
Sorry to re-issue the question, but how should I diet if I'm trying to build while cutting fat?
Exactly how I posted above. You have to focus on the things you can control. You already have a fair amount of muscle mass, being a big guy. Will you gain more while cutting? Perhaps, maybe not. But you still need to lose fat.
Right now your goals are:
1) Lose fat.
2) Build muscle.
Losing fat requires a calorie deficit. Building muscle requires adding strength. This is a long term journey, and while you may not build a lot of muscle while cutting, you still need:
1) To lose the fat.
2) To get stronger.
These are the 2 goals, and they are ones you can control with planning and effort. You can't
control how much muscle you can, or cannot build while cutting fat, so set that aside. You must focus only on the things you can
By building a strength base while cutting you will be in a great position to add muscle when you're done.
In addition, if you follow a plan like this I think you will be happily surprised by how good you look after you're done. You said yourself you're not trying to be a bodybuilder. The good news is that us big guys already have a solid muscular base...not bodybuilder level...but one that can shine with a good diet and strength training.
I hope this helps.