Good news; we have people here who can help you with everything your trying to do. Not only are the people here very knowledgable, we're also pretty good at applying what we know to the real world. Personally, I have lost tons of weight and also developed some pretty solid muscle and strength during my time on the planet so far.
First off, you need to know that you CAN change your body. Millions of people want to lose weight, and it's true that most fail, but there are also thousands and thousands of people who have succesfully lost fat and become healthier. You can be one of them. I know how it feels to be depressed. I have a family history of clinical depression and have struggled with it some myself. Just remember, it's EASY to give up, but what will make you happiest is hardly ever going to be the easiest route.
We need to know a little more about you. How old are you? Do you have any medical issues that will affect your weight loss plans? What are your goals (Be very specific here, wether that be exactly how much you want to weigh, to be an exact bodyfat %, or to squat an exact amount of weight.)? What is your living situation?
Living situation is important because some people have far more control over what they eat and what food is around them than others, and that will affect how you need to go about cutting fat.
Once we get some more info about you we can help you make a plan to get you wherever you want to be. Don't be afraid to make extreme long-term goals! Short term, easier goals will help you stay on track, but don't be afraid to dream about what you could some day be!
Currently cutting to <220. Only goal; elite as soon as humanly possible. Next step towards this goal; 500 raw squat.