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Old 07-06-2011, 03:55 PM   #1
thumpinos
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Default Maintain A Healthy Level Of insanity

1. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Marijuana'.

2. Order a diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face..

3. Specify that Your drive-through order Is 'To Go'.

4. Sing Along At The Opera.

5. Five days In advance, tell your Friends You can't attend their party because you have a headache.

6. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!'

7. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

8. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:10 AM   #2
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Not doing #4.
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Old 07-08-2011, 08:40 AM   #3
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I was at the supermarket last week doing my weekly food shop and some salesman is there selling gas & electricity, this is how it went.

Salesguy: Hello Sir, do you pay for your own gas and electricity at home?
Me: Actually i'm on day release from prison, so no.
Salesguy: Aaaaa I see.

True story!
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Old 07-08-2011, 09:15 AM   #4
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I maintain a healthy level of insanity by telling telemarketers "Hang on, I'll get him/her..." and then I set the phone down for 15 minutes.
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