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Old 05-20-2010, 04:26 PM   #1
big_swede
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Smile Squat poems

Found these googling around =)

THE SQUAT
By DALE CLARK

Down this road, in a gym far away,
a young man was heard to say,
"no matter what i do, my legs won't grow"
he tried leg extensions, leg curls, and leg presses , too
trying to cheat, these sissy workouts he'd do.

from the corner of the gym where the big men train,
through a cloud of chalk and the midst of pain
where the noise is made with big forty fives,
a deep voice bellowed as he wrapped his knees.
a very big man with legs like trees.

laughing as he snatched another plate from the stack
chalking his hands and monstrous back,
said, "boy, stop lying and don't say you've forgotten,
the trouble with you is you ain't been SQUATTIN'. "



Untitled
By PDS

The young man looked fit, thick through the chest. Bulging biceps and triceps. Washboard abs and the rest.
He strode a bit closer. To my shock and surprise!
I saw his torso supported, by two spindly thighs!
He walked with confidence and no apprehensions,
as he performed his first set of leg extensions!
I watched this debacle, watched his face turn askew.
Watched him scream in mock agony, 'til his set was all through.
T'was then I approached him and extended my hand.
"I don't mean to disrupt you, but excuse me, young man!
I was admiring your work. Man, that set was nice!
But I wonder if I might offer some helpful advice?"
He spoke not a word. Simply nodded his head.
I could read his expression. He wished I were dead.
"Get off this contraption! You're wasting your time!
Go to the squat rack! You can see....there's NO line!
You don't need machines! You don't need to look far!
Just load on the weight and get under the bar!
Unrack that sucker! Squat ass to the floor!
Grab some big plates, and load on some more!
Hear the iron rattle as you pound out each rep!
But please, my friend! YOU must take the first step!
Come with me now! To the squat rack we'll go!
Together we'll get those tiny pegs to grow!"
He studied me hard. He seemed in a haze.
No words came! He stood in a daze!
'Say SOMETHING, son! Speak to me, PLEASE!'
'I can't do it!', he screamed! 'I have bad knees!'

The Mighty Squat
By Joe Skopec

We've come to squat so run and hide
You bicep freaks must step aside

Just take your sissy selves elsewhere
You'll turn your heads but still you'll stare

Go right ahead and pay attention
Glimpse into this strange dimension

Yeah you're still weak and never grow
This world of pain you'll never know

Your shouts upon the leg-press, phony!
Noodle legs like macaroni

Some day I hope you'll understand
And wrench free from the poser band

Puny curl bars, leave this spot
The rack named for the mighty SQUAT

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Old 05-20-2010, 06:02 PM   #2
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I'm a nerd and you inspired me.

This is lame, written today, but here goes.

Squats Cure Cancer

squats cure cancer
on this premise I'm sold

they make life much better
for the young and the old

so while the naysayers claim they're bad on the knees
you go below parallel, paying no heed

for no man became strong without this one truth
gains are made in the gym squatting since youth

so you squat and eat, continuing to grow
while doubters do leg extensions with nothing to show

because when it comes to heavy lifting, of this I am sure
weakness is cancer
the squat is your cure.

-Ben S. (bas781)
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:29 PM   #3
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nice thread swede and bas thats totally badass:roc kon:

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Old 05-20-2010, 09:50 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bas781 View Post
I'm a nerd and you inspired me.

This is lame, written today, but here goes.

Squats Cure Cancer

squats cure cancer
on this premise I'm sold

they make life much better
for the young and the old

so while the naysayers claim they're bad on the knees
you go below parallel, paying no heed

for no man became strong without this one truth
gains are made in the gym squatting since youth

so you squat and eat, continuing to grow
while doubters do leg extensions with nothing to show

because when it comes to heavy lifting, of this I am sure
weakness is cancer
the squat is your cure.

-Ben S. (bas781)

That was beautiful.
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:59 PM   #5
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Epic thread! Loved all the poems. lol
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Old 05-20-2010, 10:28 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bas781 View Post
Squats Cure Cancer

squats cure cancer
on this premise I'm sold

they make life much better
for the young and the old

so while the naysayers claim they're bad on the knees
you go below parallel, paying no heed

for no man became strong without this one truth
gains are made in the gym squatting since youth

so you squat and eat, continuing to grow
while doubters do leg extensions with nothing to show

because when it comes to heavy lifting, of this I am sure
weakness is cancer
the squat is your cure.

-Ben S. (bas781)
Damn that was pretty sweet!!!
reps for poems fo sho
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Old 05-20-2010, 11:56 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bas781 View Post
I'm a nerd and you inspired me.

This is lame, written today, but here goes.

Squats Cure Cancer

squats cure cancer
on this premise I'm sold

they make life much better
for the young and the old

so while the naysayers claim they're bad on the knees
you go below parallel, paying no heed

for no man became strong without this one truth
gains are made in the gym squatting since youth

so you squat and eat, continuing to grow
while doubters do leg extensions with nothing to show

because when it comes to heavy lifting, of this I am sure
weakness is cancer
the squat is your cure.

-Ben S. (bas781)
Beautiful man =)
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:19 AM   #8
big_swede
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Another one

By Rick Walker

Through a cloud of chalk, the big man appears Belt cinched tight, no look of fear.

With blood shot eyes, he approaches the bar Rage flowing through him, a war in his heart.

The cold steel greets him, his best friend Un-racking the tonnage, the bar starts to bend.

Sets up in his stance now, and takes in his air The weight feels light, heís already there.

Unlocking his hips, and taking it down His mind now blank, he hears no sounds.

Reversing the gears, and driving it up The blood starts to flow, the crowd erupts.

A smile cracks his face, a bloody-toothed grin The bar grinds to lockout, heís helped to the pins.

Three whites blaze bright, the Vegas strip Thereís stars in his eyes, and blood on his lip.

A finger of thanks, to the Man up above He shakes off the haze and his handlerís hugs.

Itís just who he is, born, bred, and true Heíd die for the PR, heís paid his dues.

Cause thereís nothing like the feel, the knurled bar on his back He smiles; the loaders grab more plates from the stack.

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Old 05-21-2010, 02:22 AM   #9
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I'll take a shot

No other exercise can even compare
not to this one lift that will make you despair

gnashing your teeth and grunting out reps
and once you are done you can barely take steps

'I hate it' you say, and you consider defeat
but 2 minutes later the lift you repeat

three times a week you contend with this foe
but thanks to the back squat your body will grow

and soon enough you simply can't live without it
and finally wonder how you ever doubted

so get under the bar and do not look back
and keep adding weight til you need a new rack



Love squats.
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Old 05-21-2010, 02:37 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiar View Post
I'll take a shot

No other exercise can even compare
not to this one lift that will make you despair

gnashing your teeth and grunting out reps
and once you are done you can barely take steps

'I hate it' you say, and you consider defeat
but 2 minutes later the lift you repeat

three times a week you contend with this foe
but thanks to the back squat your body will grow

and soon enough you simply can't live without it
and finally wonder how you ever doubted

so get under the bar and do not look back
and keep adding weight til you need a new rack



Love squats.
Good one man =)
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