Understanding unscheduled rest days, and demotivation. Really need some help.
This'll be kind of long, but if someone could stick with it and helpo me out, that'd be great.
One of the many things Iv'e learned here at MAB from you guys, is the importance of listening to you're own body.
I try to do this, and I'm trying to understand it a bit more, and, what actions you should take, when you've identified weather you're body needs more rest, recovery from sickness, etc;
The typical thing to do in situations where you're ill, too tired, and feel you really ought to go inside and sleep rather than work out, is take an extra rest day.
Seems simple enoguh, but then I always question myself as to weather this is doing more harm than good.
Allot opf my recent thrads have sort of bled into this subject, and Iv'e accumulated quite allot of information on it.
For example, I know from asking btb that you should try and push through tiredness,
and I remember Mike and others saying an unshedualed, extra day off can actually be a good thing, and will help with you're physique and building the muscle you desire more than you think.
There seems to be a fine line thoguh, that I havn't figured out yet.
When is it good to take that rest day?
When is it more benifitial to the muscle building process, to take an extra rest day than to workout that day instead?
How often should you be taking the 2 days off as opposed to the one?
etc . . .
Today in my gym I felt tired. I'd just finsished my military press, and was onto the second set of bench press.
It wasn't going very well, and I was knocking the weight off after each set, which I hadn't previously had to do.
Not the usual tiredness I'm feeling, where I try my best to push through it, it was as if my body was really telling me "Just go in and rest, you'll be better off"
I did. And now I feel bad about it.
Like I said I've been told I should be listening to my body, and thats what I did.
However I couldn't help but have the feeling as soon as I got in that I should go back out there and just do it, but then I knew I was too tired.
Its a difficult dissision, and I'm still not sure I made the right choice.
I've remained faithful to my program for the last 4 months, Iv'e missed 2 workouts that I've made up the next day.
When I came in I tried to reflect on what it was that went wrong.
Obviously the tiredness was there, which was a big factor, but when I thought about it, my motivation is at rock bottom latly, and I think that also played a big part.
Mentally I just wasn't there. I wasn't focused.
It seems theres been a collection of things that have etched away at my motivation, and now today in the gym it hit me.
Those who have seen my recent threads will know Iv'e been worrying about some of the little things that have gone wrong, affecting my overall progress.
One thing I hate is having a goal, and then not pulling through at the end of it, and I feared the little things that went wrong recently like the odd meal I missed, or the deadlifts that failed miserably a few weeks ago, or the factr I haven't been getting much sleep latly
Have ended up all adding up, and made my progress not as impressive as it should be these last couple of months.
When I've told this to some of the members, they ask, "why are you in such a rush?" or "Its a slow process, why does it matter if it takes a bit longer"
Well, you see to me, a huge part of my motivation is created my deadlines.
With many things in life, and now lifting, I'll say,"I want to get here by this month/year(s)"
When I get there, I repeat.
It drives me on, and really helps me.
To know that I'm on target is the best thing in the world for me to hear, even thought I have all the time in the world to reach my goal.
So that was one of the things that demotivated me.
Thinking that I've made sloppy progress because of annyoying little assurances.
Now I don't know for sure that these occurances will have made a difference to my progress, and how my physique looks after a certain period of time, and I really hope not.
But I hod you can understand why I think like that.
Its just such allot of hard work, day in and day out, to eat the same food 24/7, to spend allot of my day doing cardio, or grinding it out in the gym,
That when I think I'm not on target, or that Iv'e made mediocer gains compared with what I should be gaining, Its incredibly disheartening, and makes me wonder why I bother.
I want good results for the work I've put in, and its majorly dissapointing, if there's barely any difference in my physique compared to the muscle that should be there if things went right.
Of course, things like that can't always be helped, but I cant help feeling crap about it.
None of this may even be true, those things that happened might not have made a scrap of diffence
, but I really don't know and I'm confused about it.
I know from you guys telling me that these little things on occation don't make a difference, but I don't know HOW MANY of them can happen before it will.
Iv'e missed sleep this week, missed one of my sandwhiches, failed on my deadlifts and was inable to even complete the second set due to tirdness.
Unrelated to lifting, my motivation has dropped i general life at the moment.
I'm just sort of getting sick of things, want some change to occure, everything seems gloomy.
Some of my friends are having a hard time so Iv'e been listening to all their problems, and it just gets you down after a while you know?
Pair my bad mood, with demotivation, and the fact that I was really tired, I went inside,
I started to write this up, and an attempt to get back on track.
I know this has been really long, and kind of rambly, and to some extent whimpy and pathetic when compared to some of the crap people have to go thorugh, because really it isn't important in the grand scheme of things,
But liftings is really important to me now.
Its become a huge part of my life, and I just want to do it right.
I just need a little guidance now, some friends, and some solid advice of where to go next, and how to get back on track.
I now weigh 148 pounds.
Thats nearly 10 pounds in the last 1 month and 3 weeks.
Looking in the mirror, I can see I've put on some more mass in my arms and back in particular, I just don't know weather thats as much as I should've gained.
I decided recently to set a short term goal to look like this guy. (I know I keep reiterating this, I'm sorry)
How to Get Big Triceps With Bodyweight Exercises! Only 3 Exercises! - YouTube
The guys kind of arrogant and so on so sorry about that, but a body like his, I thoguht would be a good goal to strive for in the short term.
I'm 148 now, with a little more fat than him, so was thinking he's 155-160?
Setting a short term goal like this I think is a great idea for me as far as motivation, and I'm really going to strive to get there.
Origonally BtB said he had 6-8 months worth of begginer gains.
That would mean after this week, I'd be schedualed to look like that in 2-4 months.
That'd be great if I could, I mean I think its definatly going to be more tawards the 4 month range for me now, IF its even possible at all
I mean I can't see my self being there in 4 months if I'm honest, but then again my weight gain sugests I could.
Like I said I gained nearly10 pounds in the last couple of months, so who knows.
He has 6-8 months beginner gains, so I certainly SHOULD be able to get there in that time in theory,
BUT my thoughts are that those things I mentioned before like the night I barely got any sleep, the sandwich I missed, the deadlifts I screwed up because I was tired,
Will have delayed that time frame, because little things accumulate.
Like I said before the time frame thing may sound stupid, but it really does motivate me to do better in my opinion
Its done me well this far...
I'll round it up now because this post is fr too long, so if you got to the end, thank you very much, it means allot to have people who care.
To conclude, I'm just looking for some advice, some reassurance on the subjects mentioned.
Thanks to all who read! Just hope deciding to recover for an extra 24 and sleep on it was a good idea.
I hear your struggle.
My mentality is that if I'm resting, somebody else is working. I take 1 rest day every couple of weeks my body is beyond exhaustion. I struggle to get it in to my head sometimes that my body needs rest.
I know how it works and what it's capable of, so I know what It is I am doing, but with that I do know that sometimes I DO need to rest. It's a learning curve I think buddy. And to me, it isn't an easy one, and never has been.
Sometimes a sickening work ethic comes at a price!
Linden - I really think you need to stop right now thinking too much of where you "should" be. If I thought that way, I would have quit lifting a very long time ago. There are lots of numbers I "should" be hitting right now, but I am not. It doesn't mean I have been slacking or inconsistent. My body is just taking perhaps a bit longer to get there than maybe it "should" be. So fucking what. What matters is that I will get there. I set all my goals for health 10 years ago, and I finally reached them all in the past few months. I set my goal to pay off my mortgage 18 years ago, and it has now happened. It took me 2 years longer to get my 5PPS deadlift than it should have.
You have to have fun along the way to your goals and have faith in the process. I guarantee you you will eventually achieve them if you want it bad enough.
Additionally, you don't realize how much you love to lift and live life until its almost taken away from you.
I have been thru the "want to quit" stage. I think we all have at some point. I think it's fate really that keeps us going.
Good points, thanks Jim.
I don't want to quit by any means, I'm just suffering from allot of de- motivation.
I hear what you're saying, will take it on board.
Thanks again :)
Think Jim hit it on the head there really
Rest days aren't a bad thing in my opinion. Someday's I fell like utter crap and I hit the gym and get really crap results. I normally just leave and scuff my feet like a 5 year old. I hit the gym the next day, well rested and having the day before's events etched in my mind, I smash the gym to bits. Pride is restored.
Some days just suck arse.
Its a hard pill to swallow but its true. If you read my log you will see when I hate life.
Also we all grow at different rates, get used to that idear. Some guys a 6'4", some guys are 5 foot nothing.
Keep lifting, Keep eating :).
With motivation (and demotivation, since they go hand in hand), it's a case of getting to the root cause and re-establishing the reason for the motivation, which strangely may not end up being the same motivator as a person had previously. There are many that find they've lost their motivation because the workouts they're doing no longer coincide with their goals, their goals have changed from say BB-ing to PL-ing etc.
Oddly, you may find that your motivation may stick if you decide to get in to a show/comp, fitness model etc, because the workouts will be propelling you toward an end result that is required for a competition and so forth; it's worth thinking about.
I'm content to workout for health and fun (progress as well because that's just the by-product anyway), some people need more of a set goal which helps motivate them.
The question is why? I am seeing a repeating pattern of behavior that concerns me. I hope you can get this sorted out.
You need to learn to enjoy lifting. You're a teen. Relax. This is fitness, not "fate of the world" stuff.
When I was a teen I went to the gym with my buddies and we lifted heavy stuff all the time.
We had no idea what we were doing, sometimes we benched three days straight, or did some bastardized version of power cleans.
Bottom line we worked hard and got results. Just have some fun
It's a lifestyle choice, mate. Not one you (or anyone) must make, generally speaking. So it's a choice you've made... right?
Then you need to make peace with said choice, and all that it brings.
But all said and done, it's a damn fine choice to make, in my opinion. Whatever it takes to make it work for you and your goals, in my opinion, it would be worth doing... well, within reason.
As a wise person once said, "Don't sweat the small stuff."
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