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Mind and Motivation This forum is for the cultivation of motivation, inner health, spiritual health and mental strength.

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Old 01-26-2014, 01:56 PM   #1
MetalMan
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Default Why I want this?

My life has been interesting to say the least, and one thing that has always brought me a lot of pain is my self image. For anyone that has grown up too fat, or too skinny, or just plain "not good enough" it's very hard to cultivate a positive outlook.

I grew up watching strongman every morning before school, I would always wake up earlier than anyone else and watch Zydrunas Savickas and Mariusz Pudzianowski go head to head on atlas stones, or log press, or some other feat of inhuman strength. I always remember being so young and just wishing that some day I could be big and strong. It's hard sometimes not to be comfortable in your own skin, when you look in the mirror all you see is your pain manifested in some extra lbs. I vowed that nutrition and strength training will become a part of my life, a healthy obsession that I will use to achieve my goals.

I apologize for the emotionally charged rant, but this is the first time I've ever really shared these thoughts with anyone. Who better than to share with a community of people that have the same determination and fire that flows through their veins. Thank you everyone here at MAB for helping to keep kids like me on the straight path to reaching our goals.
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Old 01-26-2014, 03:12 PM   #2
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I'm glad you joined up man, I can't wait to see how far you get
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Old 01-26-2014, 03:17 PM   #3
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Metalman,

I hear you loud and clear, I have dealt with body issues in the past (still do), and I wish you the best in your personal battle. Along with the self image issues, I have battled addiction for many years as well, life has been a roller coaster that's for sure.

I truly believe that when I chose to get sober about two years ago, that I would not have been able to do it without lifting. It gave me an outlet, for my aggression, and helped me to combat the self loathing and self pity that come from such a lack of confidence.

To top it off I was also obese (I know weird for an addict right? although I was drinking a lot too..) and literally did not own a mirror for close to seven years.

Lifting weights helped save my life.

I know Im a beginner still, and I know that I still have a long road ahead. But that road is paved with optimism, and an ever increasing desire to reach the next barrier... and smash it to pieces. With the iron I will forge my body into a weapon of indomitable will, and relentless power.

I've only been a member here for a short while, yet in that time I have already learned a great deal from the awesome people here, and know that I will for a long time. Awesome place to be IMO
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Old 03-15-2014, 12:32 PM   #4
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I'm glad you posted this, it's nice to hear why people do things! We aren't all trying to get jacked and look 'good' without a shirt on. THat's why I love this forum, it's not all about aesthetics. People want to be healthy!

I look forward to seeing your progress dude!
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Old 04-02-2014, 11:46 AM   #5
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We get in this trap sometimes of comparing ourselves with others instead of focusing on being the best that WE are capable of being.

I've accepted the fact that I'm not going to look like Mr. Olympia anytime in my lifetime, nor am I going to be able to lift the poundage of Wendler or probably 80% of the people on this forum. I'm often times my own worst critic when it comes to working out, playing my guitar, martial arts, or whatever.

I've learned through trial and error that the best approach for me is to compete with myself. In other words, there's always going to be someone better than me at alot of things in life so why compare myself to others or try to be like someone else?

As long as I'm trying my best, that's what matters. External crap doesn't deliver in terms of happiness...it's how we feel inside that matters.

I worked 21 years as a mental health/addictions therapist, and I remember these words from a recovering alcoholic that I worked with: He said, never ask yourself if you are doing your best, because if you tend to be self-critical (like me) you're never going to be satisfied. Instead, ask yourself (rather than if I'm doing my best) "am I doing everything I can to be better"? "That is the definition of doing your best."

Training is about making my life better physically, mentally and spiritually (to me anyway). All I can do is do everything possible to initiate change. The rest is out of my hands.
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Old 04-07-2014, 04:52 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MetalMan View Post
My life has been interesting to say the least, and one thing that has always brought me a lot of pain is my self-image. For anyone that has grown up too fat, or too skinny, or just plain "not good enough" it's very hard to cultivate a positive outlook.
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Originally Posted by MetalMan View Post

I grew up watching strongman every morning before school, I would always wake up earlier than anyone else and watch Zydrunas Savickas and Mariusz Pudzianowski go head to head on atlas stones, or log press, or some other feat of inhuman strength. I always remember being so young and just wishing that some day I could be big and strong. It's hard sometimes not to be comfortable in your own skin, when you look in the mirror all you see is your pain manifested in some extra lbs. I vowed that nutrition and strength training will become a part of my life, a healthy obsession that I will use to achieve my goals.

I apologize for the emotionally charged rant, but this is the first time I've ever really shared these thoughts with anyone. Who better than to share with a community of people that have the same determination and fire that flows through their veins. Thank you everyone here at MAB for helping to keep kids like me on the straight path to reaching our goals.

When I first started, I knew nothing about dietary construction to gain or lose body tissue, let alone how to weight train. At the time, I was having severe lower back pain, and being healthy and having no medical issues up to the age of 46, I thought something was seriously wrong with me, and went to see my doctor and get some tests done.

The tests came back normal with no issues in the spine/pelvis, etc (same with the various blood work done). I was going to my primary doctor for several years, and besides being very professional and knowledgeable in her field, what I liked most about her, was her Dr. Phil-like attitude and direct talk. She told me there was nothing wrong with me medically. I then asked why I was having the lower back pain then?

She simply said: "You need to un-fat yourself". In my opinion, based on the tests, the lower back has far too much fat accumulation, and it is pulling down on your spine, and with the muscles of the lower back being weak, it is causing your lower back pain issues. You lose fat and do some correct exercising, and your issue will go away. Get off your ass, and do what you need to do, Don.

I never forgot that conversation with her.

At the time, I was about 45 pounds overweight, with man-boobies, at about 200lbs (5ft 7in), with most weight composition being of fat mass. The way I approached the main point she was making was: "Is it true that I am too fat?". And, thought in terms of what "reality" is, and sought to educate myself in what I was observing. At the time, my family was saying, oh, you just have the mid-life drift, and its normal for you to gain weight at your age, your just getting older, and so on and so forth with these types of comments. I was defeated by others, and I have not done anything yet.

This was unacceptable. Because it was not addressing "the root" cause of the lower back pain, and who should I listen to? My uneducated family, or the more direct and honest assessment of my doctor (who is a dietician, and trainer herself)? Therefore, based on logic and a very honest personal assessment, I chose to learn how to lose weight, and learn how to train with weights for varying needs and/or goals. I also, set out on a "reality check", and weeded out the much aligned crap of information that is on the internet, and knew that since the weight did not accumulate overnight, it was not going to come off overnight.


Now several years later, and several goals met and exceeded, the "viewing box" of other people, which forms their opinion of what they see in me, has not stopped. I have gotten many opinions and comments: You need to get bigger, your too small, you will never get the lean look you want at your age your wasting your time, and while they make these comments, I am not asked what "I wanted out of the iron", and was viewing myself and my goals from a completely different educated view box, and strum with the beats of my heart. I did get lean, and I am lean now.

All the opinions are wrong. And, I do not need to explain myself to them. I explain the things to the wants of my personal heart and what I want with the efforts in diet and training: An "all-around conditioned body", and when you work at it, you tend to look just like that.

I am never completely satisfied with the way I appear or look. I probably never will be, though I can manipulate water composition through salt, macro nutrient manipulation, and other dietary characteristics, to get a desired result. I am my own worst enemy and my own best friend. We battle all the time. And, I win the majority, and I have a chance, because I know the ways and desires of the enemy within me. The fight will remain.

But, this keeps me hungry, and have chosen to look at this in a unique way to keep me moving forward. I will be pissed-off, with my ripped "wrinkly-ass" 70 year old body, but it will motivate me to be better. And, I look forward to the war and personal competition at that time, and anticipate the future, with what I do now.

Stay tough, consistent with work, and you will be just fine.

It is when you give up.....when your finished.

Don
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Old 04-07-2014, 05:57 AM   #7
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There is nothing, really, that I can add to what has already been said. The fellas have made some good points ang given some good advice as always.

I will just tell you that you have the support you need in the folks here, myself included. I have been overweight since the age of 4. Even while I was on active duty in the Marine Corps I had a hard time meeting the weight standards. When I was young, it bothered me immensely, and I was self conscious about it. I have since become comfortable with myself and it no longer bothers me. I do understand that, at 395lbs, I need to lose weight for health reasons. That will come in time. Be comfortable with who you are, but also be honest with yourself. The best advice I can offer regarding being overweight is to use your weaknesses to your advantage and turn them into strengths.

Like Don said, the opinions are wrong and how they view you doesn't matter. Decide what you want your goal to be. Educate yourself regarding that goal and go get it. Don't concern yourself with the opinions of others so much. There are many negative people out there who will try to drag you down no matter how much progress you make. Ignore them, this is for you, not them.

Holler at me sometime if you need to talk. When it comes to weight problems, I am down with the struggle, lol. Good luck!
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Old 04-07-2014, 06:13 AM   #8
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Very well said by everyone.

We are all in the right place. This is a board full of people who are really willing to help. Everyone has different goals, and we have various approaches to reach the same goal, but that does not change that we are all willing to put in the work for the journey!
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Old 04-07-2014, 07:09 AM   #9
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I've been there too, my friend. I was always overweight when I was young, and had absolutely no confidence whatsoever. I didn't like talking to people and spent most of my time alone. When I was around people I always said the wrong thing.

That all changed when I got into my 20's and lost 100lb. Everything started to slowly change. I started taking care of myself and throwing myself out there socially. I even got crazy and started asking girls on DATES. That was a crazy (and as much I hate to admit it, new) experience. the wierdest thing was that they kept saying yes.

Now I'm married, and I look damn good. Things CAN change. Just keep taking small steps in the right direction.
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Old 04-07-2014, 07:43 AM   #10
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What a great thread. It's so Inspirational reading everybody's stories and support for one another. I've had body issues myself since high school, it's nice to not be the only one. Metalman thanks for posting. I like everyone else will be watching your progress. This is why in such a short time I have come to love the MAB forum.
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