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Mind and Motivation This forum is for the cultivation of motivation, inner health, spiritual health and mental strength.

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Old 05-08-2013, 03:35 PM   #1
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Old 05-08-2013, 06:02 PM   #2
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For some reason, I've always been very empathetic. Yes, I get frustrated with other people, but I also often see how they may be in a tough position. My wife is one of those people. She has anxiety disorder, and even though she's a very nice person, if she's having an anxiety attack nothing else matters, and she'll scream in the face of a stranger if it comes to that. People sometimes just assume she's a bitch, but that couldn't be further from the truth. When she's having an anxiety attack, she just can't control herself. It's kind of sad.

When other people are having a bad time, I always try to assume that they are a victim of cercumstance, instead of just a bad person.

That reminds me of when I was a substitute teacher. I'd often go into a classroom in the morning and the teacher would have left a note. It would let me know what the kids were to do, and when I was working with younger kids at the end of the note it would almost always say something like "Watch out for Kevin and Steven. They are trouble."

Well I found something very interesting to be true. If I treated Kevin and Steven just exactly like I would treat everyone else, then they would usually be just fine. This teacher probably had a bad experience with these kids, and ever since she's been treating them differently. Like they're "bad kids". I don't believe in bad kids. I believe that some kids need more help learning to make better decisions, and if we write them off then all we are doing is failing them.
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:46 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soldier View Post
For some reason, I've always been very empathetic. Yes, I get frustrated with other people, but I also often see how they may be in a tough position. My wife is one of those people. She has anxiety disorder, and even though she's a very nice person, if she's having an anxiety attack nothing else matters, and she'll scream in the face of a stranger if it comes to that. People sometimes just assume she's a bitch, but that couldn't be further from the truth. When she's having an anxiety attack, she just can't control herself. It's kind of sad.

When other people are having a bad time, I always try to assume that they are a victim of cercumstance, instead of just a bad person.

That reminds me of when I was a substitute teacher. I'd often go into a classroom in the morning and the teacher would have left a note. It would let me know what the kids were to do, and when I was working with younger kids at the end of the note it would almost always say something like "Watch out for Kevin and Steven. They are trouble."

Well I found something very interesting to be true. If I treated Kevin and Steven just exactly like I would treat everyone else, then they would usually be just fine. This teacher probably had a bad experience with these kids, and ever since she's been treating them differently. Like they're "bad kids". I don't believe in bad kids. I believe that some kids need more help learning to make better decisions, and if we write them off then all we are doing is failing them.


Great post mate.
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:45 AM   #4
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I agree wholeheartedly with a lot of what that guy had to say, it seems. Thanks for posting that.

Default settings, yes. Difficult to adjust them, yes. Worthwhile doing, yes.

The whole speech is worth checking out, by the way. It's also on Youtube.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:44 AM   #5
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I watched the video last night. While the speaker had some great points, he also missed some great opportunities. Was disappointed as he was making a good moral argument for not focusing on self and then tried to walk away from it for fear of offending people. Reality is, self-centeredness IS a moral issue, not any particular moralistic view point except a basic humanistic view, "I am what is most important." When it was over I was left with, nice presentation but meh. He missed a great opportunity to really challenge.

Besides that much of the text was too small.

nuff said.
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Old 05-09-2013, 02:54 PM   #6
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I could have done with watching that 30 years ago.

I really agree with the central argument - especially the idea that 'default mode' is to regard other people as fundamentally different - barely animate obstructions.

Really excellent.
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Old 05-09-2013, 03:19 PM   #7
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Thank you for posting that BtB. The mind really is everything...
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Old 05-09-2013, 04:54 PM   #8
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This is not a concept I considered until I had children and was forced to understand that the world does not revolve around me.

There is a lot of joy to be found in life when you consciously decide to view it, and other people, differently.
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:06 PM   #9
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The world does revolve around me, Mom always said so...
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Old 05-11-2013, 05:23 PM   #10
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Great post BTB. Really does make one think.
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