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Old 05-20-2013, 11:05 AM   #11
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Old 05-20-2013, 11:06 AM   #12
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Ha ha ha, please make it stop...

How can you break your elbows doing 'abnormal kickbacks'?

You can picture the scene in the Accident and Emergency Room. Middle-aged lady wheeled past on a gurney still clutching plastic dumbbell, arm at a hideously unnatural angle.

Doctor One: Kickbacks again?

Doctor Two: Kickbacks.

Doctor One: And her technique...?

Doctor Two: Abnormal.

Doctor One: [Sighs] When will they learn?


I can only think that an abnormal kickback is one where you've seriously misunderstood the instructions and you're actually arm-wrestling, or slamming your arm in the changing-room door
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Old 05-20-2013, 11:17 AM   #13
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Now I'm actually crying with laughter.

Remember, these are only the most dangerous gym machines. And there are 23 of them. But don't you go assuming that any remaining ones are actually safe:

'Could I use the preacher bench?'

'No - it causes breakages of the fingers and knee'

'How about the decline bench?'

'Causes rushing of the blood inside the brainbox and stroke'

'How about if I just sit on that stool in the corner?'

'That gives you cancer'
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Old 05-20-2013, 11:29 AM   #14
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Last one, I promise:

"Most of the members aged between 25 to 54 years often visit gyms to carry out exercises."

Fantastic!It's reassuring to know that most members in that age range go the gym to carry out exercises.

But what about those who aren't there to carry out exercises, eh? What are they doing?

A survey reveals:

23% were there to leer at chicks and/or guys.

28% thought it was a laundromat, and had been dropping pennies into the lat machine (making it even more dangerous)

19% were beggars

22% had been in there since the previous summer, but couldn't find their way out.

8% were waiting for someone to injure themselves on the 23 most dangerous machines so that they could post it on youtube.
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Last edited by Tannhauser; 05-20-2013 at 11:33 AM.
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Old 05-20-2013, 01:34 PM   #15
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haha did some of you take those seriously?? pretty sure it's dry humor, making fun of the pseudo-science, pseudo-"data driven" approach that's traditionally used in popular fitness articles. it's a spoof of the kind of fitness crap you'd find in a non-fitness magazine.
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Old 05-20-2013, 01:50 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tannhauser View Post
Last one, I promise:

"Most of the members aged between 25 to 54 years often visit gyms to carry out exercises."

Fantastic!It's reassuring to know that most members in that age range go the gym to carry out exercises.

But what about those who aren't there to carry out exercises, eh? What are they doing?

A survey reveals:

23% were there to leer at chicks and/or guys.

28% thought it was a laundromat, and had been dropping pennies into the lat machine (making it even more dangerous)

19% were beggars

22% had been in there since the previous summer, but couldn't find their way out.

8% were waiting for someone to injure themselves on the 23 most dangerous machines so that they could post it on youtube.

VERY NICE!!
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Old 05-20-2013, 01:53 PM   #17
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what other machines are there!!! took out damn near everyone haha
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Old 05-20-2013, 01:59 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by SecondsOut View Post
haha did some of you take those seriously?? pretty sure it's dry humor, making fun of the pseudo-science, pseudo-"data driven" approach that's traditionally used in popular fitness articles. it's a spoof of the kind of fitness crap you'd find in a non-fitness magazine.
Ah, don't burst my bubble, man. I want it to be serious.

EDIT TO ADD:

If it's a spoof, the rest of the site is too. Take a look at the diet advice:

Quote:
Instead of decreasing the number of foods that you have, you should add to them. It is best to add to your diet foods that you love and that are healthy, such as grapes, cherries and peas. Although adding works, you should also make sure not to have more than 1,500 calories a day.
Grapes, cherries and peas? Fantastic!
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Last edited by Tannhauser; 05-20-2013 at 02:05 PM.
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Old 05-20-2013, 03:22 PM   #19
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WTF ?? 85% of individuals visit the gym at least 6 times an year. 6 times an year!! That's once every 2 months. Never knew that was anything to write home about.

But on the bright side, despite labelling bench as dangerous they dont seem to label squat racks to be dangerous. They must be advocating squats and deads then
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Old 05-20-2013, 03:24 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tannhauser View Post
Quote:
Instead of decreasing the number of foods that you have, you should add to them. It is best to add to your diet foods that you love and that are healthy, such as grapes, cherries and peas. Although adding works, you should also make sure not to have more than 1,500 calories a day.
I eat 3000 cals a day. How can I add cals and not have more than 1500 cals a day. Please advice.
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