Muscle and Brawn Forums
 

Go Back   Muscle and Brawn Forums > General > General Board
Mark Forums Read
Register Articles Members List Search Today's Posts

Notices

General Board You can talk about anything here. Life, sports, rants, whatever.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-28-2011, 10:25 PM   #1
Squatter
Squatatron
Max Brawn
Points: 27,624, Level: 98 Points: 27,624, Level: 98 Points: 27,624, Level: 98
Activity: 99% Activity: 99% Activity: 99%
 
Squatter's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: JimGym/CrewGym
Posts: 10,442
Training Exp: 20 Years
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Squat & Deadlift
Fav Supp: Collagen
Reputation: 742772
Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!Squatter is one with Crom!
Default An Open Ltter To All My Brother's & Sister's

Tonight I want to share with all of you a little bit of my history and why I lift.

Both my parents became raging alcoholics after I was born. My father, who died in 2005, never recognized me as his son. He accused my mom of cheating when I was conceived. in 2000, he even refused to recognize a DNA test result proving he was my dad.The mental abuse that followed me throughout my childhood and adulthood has never been dealt with, until now. This is why I am seeing a psychologist now. It is time for me to find a way to forgive him and thus begin the healing process.

When I was in my early 20’s, I began my lifting career. I now realize I turned to lifting as a way of dealing with this issue. I never did want to talk about it, until now that is. The iron was always honest with me. This is a big part of my treatment, to be able to talk about it. For this reason, I am sharing my story with all of you. I also wanted to get into shape to boost my self-confidence and self esteem. In my late 20’s, I finally met my wife, Licia. As you may may know, we met at the gym, and you guessed it, I asked her out while I was squatting.

The bond I have with lifting will never be severed. I am so emotional about my lifting for these reasons.

Recently, I have also been having many stress related problems at work. I have been micromanaged to death. I have now associated the mental abuse there with my father, according to the psychologist. I was really close to a complete meltdown. The only thing that has kept me going is my lifting and all my lifting brothers, who have shown time and time again how much they care about the one thing, besides my family, that means the most to me. I couldn’t find the will to quit my job, as I have too much debt, a family to support, and a severe lack of self-confidence. Back to the good old days in many ways. I feel this has spilled over into my lifting in some ways as I am never confident I can lift a heavy weight, despite being capable of doing it.

This past weekend, I had an opportunity to have a great visit with my uncle regarding this issue. He was unaware of the mental abuse and the fact dad did not recognize me as his son. He is not only going to help me, but my whole family. He is going to pay for any job retraining I desire, and if necessary, support my family if I need to leave my job suddenly. He also is going to pay for my 13 y/o daughters’ post secondary education – any career she wants. He is also going to pay for my psychologist visits for as long as it takes for me to get better. He is also going to pay off all of my debts. He is basically giving me a new lease on life and a fresh stress-free start. He is really one of the most generous people on the planet. He has donated millions of dollars over the years to many charities and the University of Calgary.

My uncle cares. All of you care. My family cares. This is going to give me the tools to heal. All my brothers have given me the strength to not only lift, but to finally seek some peace in my life.
__________________
My Favorite Part Of Lifting Is Having The Opportunity
Meet PR's: (May 2014)
Squat 475 lbs
Bench: 286 lbs
Deadlift: 501 lbs
Total: 1262 lbs
Age: 50

Gym PR's:
Squat: 495 lbs
Bench: 300 lbs
Deadlift: 520 lbs
Total: 1315 Lbs
Age 50
Squatter is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 11-28-2011, 10:57 PM   #2
Off Road
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 17,091, Level: 83 Points: 17,091, Level: 83 Points: 17,091, Level: 83
Activity: 1% Activity: 1% Activity: 1%
 
Off Road's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 7,606
Reputation: 786994
Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!Off Road is one with Crom!
Default

We care and good luck.
Off Road is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 10:59 PM   #3
Disciple X
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 6,017, Level: 50 Points: 6,017, Level: 50 Points: 6,017, Level: 50
Activity: 5% Activity: 5% Activity: 5%
 
Disciple X's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Hartsville, SC
Posts: 1,707
Training Type: Powerlifting
Reputation: 42429
Disciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machineDisciple X is a lifting machine
Default

Squatter, hang in there brother! Sounds like things are looking up. Sometimes life deals you a crap hand, but if you keep at it and dont let it get you down, you end up holding Aces keep training hard and know that in a little town far away, you have a brother in iron who will be praying for you... keep squatting!
Disciple X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 11:30 PM   #4
bruteforce
The Gristle Eating Giant
Max Brawn
Points: 15,492, Level: 80 Points: 15,492, Level: 80 Points: 15,492, Level: 80
Activity: 14% Activity: 14% Activity: 14%
 
bruteforce's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: BeStrong IL
Posts: 6,002
Training Exp: 2
Training Type: Strongman
Fav Exercise: Deadlift
Fav Supp: Rare Steak
Reputation: 480141
bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!bruteforce is one with Crom!
Default

We care for you a great deal Jim. I'm glad you were able to share this with us, and we will always be there for you, solid as the iron. You've been an inspiration to me over the past couple years on another board, and I'm very happy that you're still at it. I'm glad that lifting has given you an outlet, and a constructive one, and am very happy that your family is able to help with finances. Good luck brother, build strength upon strength, grow strong as iron.
bruteforce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2011, 11:40 PM   #5
BigJosh
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 11,344, Level: 70 Points: 11,344, Level: 70 Points: 11,344, Level: 70
Activity: 17% Activity: 17% Activity: 17%
 
BigJosh's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 4,044
Training Exp: 7-8 years
Training Type: Fullbody
Fav Exercise: Bench Press and Curls Bro
Fav Supp: Opti-Men Multi Vit
Reputation: 241059
BigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master memberBigJosh is a master member
Default

I wish I had some profound words to say to you right now, but unfortunately, I don't.
I can say that while my history and situations are not the same as yours, I too have a troubled past with my father and skeletons in my closet.
And like you, lifting weights helped save me from self destruction. I guess my point is here, I can relate and I'm sure many others can.
You should be proud of yourself and the fact that you are productive member of society, in spite of your personal adversities.
As far as your lifting, you are one of the real ones. When you give advice or post on the forums, it is clear you are the real deal. It is obvious you are not an e-lifter or a phony.
A lot of people learn from you and your training.
Keep up the good work!
__________________
Zdravko Veselin Gaeta

I am not a powerlifter nor am I a bodybuilder. I just want to be big and strong.
Quote:
[Today 05:50 PM] BendtheBar: Write that quote down
[Today 05:50 PM] BendtheBar: If I am going to be a bro, I am going to be the best
Make gains, not excuses.
BigJosh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2011, 12:17 AM   #6
Pull14
Senior Member
Max Brawn
Points: 3,581, Level: 37 Points: 3,581, Level: 37 Points: 3,581, Level: 37
Activity: 4% Activity: 4% Activity: 4%
 
Pull14's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New Jersey, US
Posts: 1,117
Training Type: Fullbody
Reputation: 32208
Pull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machinePull14 is a lifting machine
Default

Jim, from what I can only gather from this forum, you have a loving wife and daughter. A family that still is and always will be by your side. Past aside, there is no prouder circumstance than that. Your a good guy, and while only through the internet, its been nothing but a pleasure meeting you.

For those of us addicted to the iron, it is the one thing in life that we control.

I wish you the best in moving forward. Keep kicking ass.
Pull14 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2011, 04:56 AM   #7
LtL
SHFW
Max Brawn
Points: 36,892, Level: 100 Points: 36,892, Level: 100 Points: 36,892, Level: 100
Activity: 17% Activity: 17% Activity: 17%
 
LtL's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Reading, Berkshire, UK
Posts: 12,012
Training Exp: 5 years
Training Type: Powerlifting
Fav Exercise: Deadlifts
Fav Supp: Endurance BCAA
Reputation: 455740
LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!LtL is one with Crom!
Default

Stay strong Jim and grasp the opportunity with both hands.

LtL
__________________
Proudly sponsored by Muscle and Brawn and Lifestyle Focus.
Ask me about Ark products.
www.liftingtolive.com
LtL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2011, 08:55 AM   #8
Shadowschmadow
Totally Bitchin'
Max Brawn
Points: 2,307, Level: 29 Points: 2,307, Level: 29 Points: 2,307, Level: 29
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
Shadowschmadow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Soviet Maryland
Posts: 1,065
Training Exp: 8 years off and on
Training Type: SFW!
Fav Exercise: Bench Press
Reputation: 11624
Shadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributorShadowschmadow is a dedicated contributor
Default

Its good that you're seeking help for something you realize you cannot resolve yourself. It takes a big man to do this, and you should be proud of that. As you can see, you'll always have the support here to fall back on - the best quality of MAB.

Do what you can to improve the quality of your life with you uncle's help, and try not to take his kindness for granted. Put in full effort with everything you do, always do what your heart tells you is right, and you'll be okay.
__________________
The Greatest Respect You Can Earn is Self Respect.
Shadowschmadow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2011, 09:16 AM   #9
BendtheBar
Bearded Beast of Duloc
Max Brawn
Points: 1,554,481, Level: 100 Points: 1,554,481, Level: 100 Points: 1,554,481, Level: 100
Activity: 49% Activity: 49% Activity: 49%
 
BendtheBar's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 79,783
Training Exp: 20+ years
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Deadlift
Fav Supp: Butter
Reputation: 2583792
BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!BendtheBar is one with Crom!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Squatter View Post

My uncle cares. All of you care. My family cares. This is going to give me the tools to heal. All my brothers have given me the strength to not only lift, but to finally seek some peace in my life.
That is a great story Jim. The power of giving and unselfishness can never be understated.

I just want to encourage you to keep fighting the good fight. I grew up in a home with a violent alcoholic, and around a family of addicts. I know all too well what extreme dysfunction means. It's hard to escape that bondage. It took me a long time, but some of it still lingers.

The actions of my father and your father were selfish actions. The action of your uncle is an unselfish action. These extremes really shine a light on how important decisions can be. It is so hard to give up things for ourselves so that others can be happy.

You do that Jim every day, for the forums (by answering questions), and to your wife and daughter. I am always glad to see someone not repeating the cycle. Stay strong and do you best to not let the actions of others chain down your life. It's easier said than done.
__________________
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Destroy That Which Destroys You

"Let bravery be thy choice, but not bravado."


BendtheBar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-2011, 09:38 AM   #10
T-Bone
The Beardo Weirdo
Max Brawn
Points: 6,038, Level: 50 Points: 6,038, Level: 50 Points: 6,038, Level: 50
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
T-Bone's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Shenandoah Valley
Posts: 1,603
Training Exp: 7
Training Type: Powerbuilding
Fav Exercise: Squat
Reputation: 31724
T-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machineT-Bone is a lifting machine
Default

That is a powerful story Jim and it took guts to share so much with us. I care about you and I am sure you can conquer those demons the way you have conquered the iron - with honesty, conviction and a downright positive attitude! The forums wouldn't be the same without you and I'm glad I can call you friend.
__________________
KMRIA

"There's nothing wrong with being a large mammal." - Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison - The Doors (1991)

Sergey Krastio Trelawny
T-Bone is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
brother, ltter, open, sister


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New Routine!! Open to suggestions CoopDawg Powerlifting & Strength Training 14 10-18-2011 02:26 PM
Open challenge, 25lbs in 12 weeks. glwanabe Powerlifting & Strength Training 236 05-28-2010 06:01 PM
Open letter to HIT believers and hardgainers HITman_mark71 Muscle Building and Bodybuilding 0 05-07-2010 06:40 AM
Open Forum: Ask away guys! DocColossus General Board 19 02-11-2010 01:55 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:07 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.