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Old 11-29-2011, 09:42 AM   #11
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In some ways i wish i could have this conversation with you face to face but i can't. I truly wish i could stand in front of you and shake your hand and congradulate you on not becoming the same man your father is. Steve has been to my home a couple times now and we have discussed our pasts, which for me and him are oddly similar. When we have discussed our upbringing i believe it only helped in the life long healing process that is required. You are a strong man for simply putting those feelings out on a site for everyone to see and i hope you nothin but the best in your new found lease on life. Make the most of it brother!!
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:43 AM   #12
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Jim,
I am floored by your openness and honesty here.

In my early 30s, I finally went to see a psychologist about many of lingering issues of parental upbringing (or not) and the like. It wasn't easy as there is a huge stigma attached to it, and men as "supposed to just suck it up and keep moving." After a few false starts, I settled in for about a year of sessions.

I am here to tell you that therapy saved my life. I completely learned to love myself in a way that I couldn't before because I felt so unwanted by my parents to a large degree. I finally became a happy person for the first time in my life at over 30 and, as a result, am a FAR better dad to my kids and friend and relative than I could have ever been otherwise.

Good luck to you and bravo for taking those first, most difficult steps.
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Old 11-29-2011, 12:49 PM   #13
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Thats a great story Jim with a real nice ending, but remember buddy it is still only the beginning for you and you should grab this opportunity with both hands... Good things happen to good men Jim and you are one of the best

Carl.
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Old 11-29-2011, 02:13 PM   #14
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I hope it helps you Jim, I really do; I had therapy because of physical and psychological abuse as a child, from both parents (which I don't care to discuss on an open forum) but therapists were not able to help and I will have to deal with it alone for the rest of my life...with hubby's support, which goes without saying.
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:26 PM   #15
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OR, DiscipleX, Brute, Big J, Pull, Big Al, Shadow, Steve, T-Bone, jslep, Nard, Carl, and Babs - I'm literally speechless and touched by our stories as well. Words cannot express how much this all means to me. I have to admit, I was nervous before posting this, as I have never shared this with anyone, outside of my wife and the psychologist, before. However, I was driven to do it as I knew it would help me begin to forgive him.

I can honestly say, if it wasn't for lifting, my wife and daughter, and the brotherhood here, I would have become a train wreck.

My daughter has been seeing the psychologist for a few months now. We have had a few issues, but I didn't really think much about them. I now know I didn't want to think about them. I have been treating my daughter well, and I of course love her to pieces. However, there have been times where I didn't want to do things with her. For example, if she wanted to go bike riding, I would go, but I really didn't want to. She had apparently picked up on this, and told the shrink it was one reason she was lashing out. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go biking with her. To be honest, I didn't understand either - but now I do. My father didn't want to do anything with me. The shrink, has now put 2 and 2 together after hearing my story. Yep, I was unknowingly and unintentionally not able to give her all of me, because I was not given anything emotionally from my father. I am really quite distraught about this, and at the time on the "couch" I couldn't stop crying and really felt like jumping out of the window.

This was the turning point, and made me realize this has to be fixed, and now. The last thing I want to turn into is him, and I was unknowingly doing that to some degree. The spillage of all that nasty baggage is now affecting my daughter and I will not allow his legacy to continue on. This is going to be buried once and for all.

It will not happen overnight, and both myself and Megan understand that. But it will be done - I guarantee it.

I cannot wait to go bike riding now with her next Spring. In the meantime, we'll figure out some other things to do.
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:36 PM   #16
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Years can wrinkle the skin, but to give up and not to have enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.



And, when you look back at your footsteps...

You see nothing but smoke and fire.......

Because you never retired and had always passionately desired.......


From my heart to yours:

Happiness glows from the inside out, it doesn’t shine from the outside in.

The brightest star from the surface of the earth is the SPIRIT of a young man, unbroken.

The most vicious vision is from a young man with WILL formed from the same SPIRIT.

The most ferocious HEART formed from the same SPIRIT will never die

DREAMS surrounded with HEART, WILL, and an unbroken SPIRIT, can not be stopped

I know, my spirit was broken once. I had to mend it.

And, so can you.

==========================

Seek not outside yourself; success is within

When it comes to your life and what you stand for, there can only be one designer – you.

To dream anything you want to dream:That is the beauty of the human mind.

To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will.

To trust yourself to test your limits: That is the courage to succeed.



Squatter, you walk in the package that will take you where you want to be: Yourself.

and................

You have the Hands of the forum in each Hand and we will Command to make you Stand to be Grand as Programmed and Planned.

Understand?

And, we will assist you into the promised Land!


Peace, bro
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:51 PM   #17
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Good luck with everything in the future bro, you seem like the nicest guy and have a loving family so I'm sure everything will turn out okay.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:26 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chillen View Post
Years can wrinkle the skin, but to give up and not to have enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.



And, when you look back at your footsteps...

You see nothing but smoke and fire.......

Because you never retired and had always passionately desired.......


From my heart to yours:

Happiness glows from the inside out, it doesn’t shine from the outside in.

The brightest star from the surface of the earth is the SPIRIT of a young man, unbroken.

The most vicious vision is from a young man with WILL formed from the same SPIRIT.

The most ferocious HEART formed from the same SPIRIT will never die

DREAMS surrounded with HEART, WILL, and an unbroken SPIRIT, can not be stopped

I know, my spirit was broken once. I had to mend it.

And, so can you.

==========================

Seek not outside yourself; success is within

When it comes to your life and what you stand for, there can only be one designer – you.

To dream anything you want to dream:That is the beauty of the human mind.

To do anything you want to do: That is the strength of the human will.

To trust yourself to test your limits: That is the courage to succeed.



Squatter, you walk in the package that will take you where you want to be: Yourself.

and................

You have the Hands of the forum in each Hand and we will Command to make you Stand to be Grand as Programmed and Planned.

Understand?

And, we will assist you into the promised Land!


Peace, bro
Peace be with you as well brother

Those are some words to live by.
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Meet PR's: (May 2014)
Squat 475 lbs
Bench: 286 lbs
Deadlift: 501 lbs
Total: 1262 lbs
Age: 50

Gym PR's:
Squat: 495 lbs
Bench: 295 lbs
Deadlift: 520 lbs
Total: 1310 Lbs
Age 50
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:27 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hazzard View Post
Good luck with everything in the future bro, you seem like the nicest guy and have a loving family so I'm sure everything will turn out okay.
Thanks so much Big Pete. It wasn't Thanksgiving here, but I have alot to be thankful for, and alot to get better for.
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My Favorite Part Of Lifting Is Having The Opportunity
Meet PR's: (May 2014)
Squat 475 lbs
Bench: 286 lbs
Deadlift: 501 lbs
Total: 1262 lbs
Age: 50

Gym PR's:
Squat: 495 lbs
Bench: 295 lbs
Deadlift: 520 lbs
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Age 50
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:45 PM   #20
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Sounds like thanksgiving to me... you just forgot the turkey
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