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Old 11-06-2011, 09:45 PM   #1
Bearded Beast of Duloc
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Default Are you training hard enough?

Found this here. entertaining, so I am re-posting...

Gorilla Blog - Are you training hard enough?

I often get asked, “am I training hard enough?” or the oh so funny, “am I over training?”

I think these two statements go hand in hand because not only is it hilarious but…a great intro for another rant by yours truly.

So here goes my top 10 Reasons that you’re not training hard enough and no, you’re not over training. It comes down to this one statement…there is no such thing as over training, only under eating. Of course, this is just sarcasm so please, don’t email your 15 page letter on your science based opinion on how much over training impacts your physical and mental well being….i.e this is a F**KING JOKE so relax and take the barbell out of your ass you uptight self righteous douche bag!

1. If you don’t need a hose down with a fire hose after a work out, you aren’t training hard enough.

2. If vomiting isn’t part of your weekly ritual from pushing yourself that hard, you aren’t training hard enough!

3. No, 6 hours in the gym isn’t over training, even if you lost 20lbs today and have the complexion of a corpse…just eat another protein bar and
pop a few more diuretics; you’ll be fine!

4. If you haven’t installed a handicapped railing next to your toilet because you hurt so much from heavy squats, you’re not training hard enough.

5. No, 3 hours on the elyptical at maximum resistance and not eating for 24 hours is not over training…it’s perfectly healthy and you are doing great! Lets add some saran wrap to your legs and abdomen and then do 2 hours in the sauna!

6. Ladies, if you haven’t grown a penis sized clit, and I mean a real dangler, your voice isn’t a pleasant baritone and you aren’t plucking black hairs from your chin daily…shoot up cuz you aren’t training hard enough!!!

7. Bad knees and back? Who cares! You won’t need them when you’re that old anyway, that’s why god made wheelchairs you idiot! Now, get those knees out over your toes and squat deeper…technique doesn’t matter…just add weight and force that shit up!

8. Skittles, clen, diet coke and daily purging is perfectly healthy and you will be fine with a two a day workout….really, that is plenty of nutrition to work off of and is not over training at all.

9. If you haven’t taught your 3 year old how to cook your meals and quit your job because getting off the couch hurts too much, you aren’t training hard enough!

10. You are correct. Life revolves around the weight room and ruining relationships, neglecting family and being a total tool to everyone who doesn’t lift is an acceptable way of life and proves that you are training hard enough! So for those of you who are not at least 6 feet tall, 300 lbs and are not hated by everyone, you aren’t training hard enough!

Destroy That Which Destroys You

"Let bravery be thy choice, but not bravado."

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