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Old 10-08-2011, 10:26 PM   #1
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Default Sex talk

Is it ok to talk sex? This is a serious topic for me. My husband left me after 22 years but we never had much of a relationship for the last 12. Do you couples that have been married for a while still maintain decent relations?
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:32 PM   #2
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Not an easy subject to talk about but I know many couples that fight over this issue. Kids change a lot of things.
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:50 PM   #3
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The longer you're together, the less sex matters. If you split up after 22 years, my guess is that sex wasn't the only problem. Maybe part, but not all. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence, but it's still just grass in the end. LOL
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Old 10-09-2011, 06:50 AM   #4
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if people truly love one another there are no expectations and no limitations on sex in a relationship. not kids(i have 3) not jobs(i'm days, she's nights) if you really feel that sex needs to be a huge part of the relationship you can and will find times.
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Old 10-09-2011, 07:02 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Livingitup48 View Post
Is it ok to talk sex? This is a serious topic for me. My husband left me after 22 years but we never had much of a relationship for the last 12. Do you couples that have been married for a while still maintain decent relations?
"Decent" is a relative term. Married 25 years here, good and bad times, we all have them. Some are organic, ie bodily hormonal changes, some are not. The harder issues to deal with are the ones that are not organic, the relational issues that exist in EVERY relationship. Both do affect what happens in the bedroom and as you have noted, can destroy a marriage. Biggest non organic Issue I see, we want to change our spouse. Will never happen. Like in the gym, the only thing I can change is me. If I keep wanting or hoping for my spouse to change to please me, I will be disappointed. I am trying to focus on being the best me I can be, for her and the family. Sometimes, that means being physical, even when I don't really feel like it.

I'm done.
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Old 10-09-2011, 09:33 AM   #6
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Over time I had to learn to foster trust and communication, while also learning to be a servant instead of a selfish young fart. Things can get better, but it's hard work. My wife and I had to work hard at our relationship. Nothing is ever easy, but if the couple isn't communicating and has lost trust, then things in the bedroom will only get worse.
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Old 10-09-2011, 09:57 AM   #7
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Sex is a big issue at the beginning of a relationship. Sex is a big issue at the end of a relationship. In-between, it's not even top 100.
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Old 10-09-2011, 10:21 AM   #8
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I have been married 27 years, and we dated about 3 years before that. Above all else, she is my best friend. If there was ever two personalities that were made to blend together, it was hers and mine. I can confide in her anything personal or personally-sensetive, without worry that she would use it as a tool to hurt me emotionally when she gets angry. We have always been open with our feelings, and sex is no different. I made a point, early on in our relationship, that if I did anything (intentional or nonintentional) that I never wanted her to hide her feelings and to let me know. I can not fix what I do not know. I can only attempt to fix what I know exists. We KNOW as a man and woman, we have different set of needs/wants, etc, and we talk about these--openly and honest, then excute the agreed premises. I have learned that over 90% of marriage is NOT in the bed room, but out of it. What you do in the 90% effects the remaining percentage.
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Old 10-09-2011, 07:25 PM   #9
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Well said Chillen. I've been married almost 31 years now. First time I kissed my wife she was in the 7th grade, I was in the 8th. You just have to keep eatin' the grass in your own pasture. Like I said before, the grass might look greener on the other side of the fence, but it's still grass. I still look at the other grass, but I don't eat it.LOL
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:11 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryano View Post
Well said Chillen. I've been married almost 31 years now. First time I kissed my wife she was in the 7th grade, I was in the 8th. You just have to keep eatin' the grass in your own pasture. Like I said before, the grass might look greener on the other side of the fence, but it's still grass. I still look at the other grass, but I don't eat it.LOL
Yes, don't eat the grass... Like Adam and Eve, and the apple; only bad shit will come of it. Lol.
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