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Old 11-29-2013, 03:26 PM   #11
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Fitting in with the group, tribe, or pack is waaaaay overrated. I just do whatever. How it is looked upon, or whether it is approved, by the collective is not a concern. .
It's a nice idea, but most of the people who are truly independent of what society thinks are an absolute nightmare to be around, and many end up in prison or psychiatric institutions. Everyone likes to think of themselves as a rugged individual, but it isn't borne out in their behaviour or beliefs on a day-to-day basis.

Or another way to think of it: we don't invent ourselves out of nothing. Before any of us were old enough to consider whether we wanted to label ourselves as above the concerns of the collective, we have already absorbed a whole bunch of cultural values that enable us to function in our tribe. Of course, if you've grown up on a desert island raised by a computer, you can probably claim to be truly independent of spirit.
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Old 11-29-2013, 03:48 PM   #12
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I tend to think society is moving in the right direction regarding this issue. Racial, ethnic and cultural diversity are the norm now a days. Different perspectives and approaches are respected and accepted now more then ever. At least IMO. I come from a work place that actively celebrates and emphasizes diversity, so this probably had a big influence on my perspective.
I look at my own life, I can honestly say I appreciate and associate with many different types of people. I think the common themes I can see between all these people is a respect and appreciation for others. And a general consideration for others.
Consideration for others. That is so important. We should all be allowed to live our lives the way we want to. EXCEPT (and that is a huge except) when what we choose to do negatively impacts others. IMO, it is not ok to "be yourself" when being yourself or being different involves treading on the rights and lives of others. Being yourself should be done with consideration and respect for the rights of others.
Some would argue being themselves means doing drugs, living a life of crime and preying on others. I don't think anyone would disagree that anyone with this sort of mind state probably shouldn't be allowed to "be themselves".
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Old 11-29-2013, 04:18 PM   #13
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It's a nice idea, but most of the people who are truly independent of what society thinks are an absolute nightmare to be around, and many end up in prison or psychiatric institutions. Everyone likes to think of themselves as a rugged individual, but it isn't borne out in their behaviour or beliefs on a day-to-day basis.

Or another way to think of it: we don't invent ourselves out of nothing. Before any of us were old enough to consider whether we wanted to label ourselves as above the concerns of the collective, we have already absorbed a whole bunch of cultural values that enable us to function in our tribe. Of course, if you've grown up on a desert island raised by a computer, you can probably claim to be truly independent of spirit.
I see what you are saying. I am talking about the uncontrollable urge that many have to try and appease the masses or, at least, the group they are surrounded by at the moment. I do not concern myself with this. If I make a decision to do something to do something smiled upon by the masses, then so be it. If it is disapproved by the masses, I am still going to do it. (within legality, of course) Trust me, it does alienate one to a point, but life seems to be much simpler that way. It has cost me on my job, in family relations (which has turned out to be a big plus), and in so called friendships.

I wasn't raised on a desert island, nor am I a psychopath. I will admit that I may be just a bit antisocial. I don't have, nor am I pursuing, a degree in psychology so I can't speak to those connotations intelligently.
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Old 11-29-2013, 04:58 PM   #14
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Trust me, it does alienate one to a point, but life seems to be much simpler that way. It has cost me on my job, in family relations (which has turned out to be a big plus), and in so called friendships.
Ha ha, I know what you mean. Me too. For me, it's refusing to recognise or participate in what I regard as largely arbitrary ceremonies and demarcation points and organised jollity: so no weddings, christenings, birthdays, Christmas, work leaving events, graduation ceremonies etc etc. Also no social gatherings of over eight and no going near anyone drinking. And that's just the start of it.

Nevertheless, despite a fairly long list of eccentricities, just like virtually everyone else, I am influenced by other people's opinions.

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I wasn't raised on a desert island, nor am I a psychopath. I will admit that I may be just a bit antisocial.
Again, me too. Well, actually, I do like people, but on my own terms. So long as they don't come round and invade my space, I like 'em. I have been known to lock myself in my spare lounge to avoid speaking to Mrs T's sister (who is a perfectly pleasant woman), emerging at night to scavenge for food

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I don't have, nor am I pursuing, a degree in psychology so I can't speak to those connotations intelligently.
Funnily enough, that's my area, but you certainly don't need a degree to say something intelligent about it. I guess my overall feeling is that we're influenced by others more than we think. Obviously there's variation in how independent we are, but it's surprising how much conformity goes under the radar.
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Old 11-29-2013, 05:17 PM   #15
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Ha ha, I know what you mean. Me too. For me, it's refusing to recognise or participate in what I regard as largely arbitrary ceremonies and demarcation points and organised jollity: so no weddings, christenings, birthdays, Christmas, work leaving events, graduation ceremonies etc etc. Also no social gatherings of over eight and no going near anyone drinking. And that's just the start of it.

Nevertheless, despite a fairly long list of eccentricities, just like virtually everyone else, I am influenced by other people's opinions.



Again, me too. Well, actually, I do like people, but on my own terms. So long as they don't come round and invade my space, I like 'em. I have been known to lock myself in my spare lounge to avoid speaking to Mrs T's sister (who is a perfectly pleasant woman), emerging at night to scavenge for food



Funnily enough, that's my area, but you certainly don't need a degree to say something intelligent about it. I guess my overall feeling is that we're influenced by others more than we think. Obviously there's variation in how independent we are, but it's surprising how much conformity goes under the radar.
Understood. We don't seem like we are very different from one another. Although you seem to avoid contact with people a good bit more than I do. But, boy do I hate crowds, mostly because no one has manners anymore. Come to think of it, I guess that comes from the conformity you speak of, lol.
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Old 11-29-2013, 05:45 PM   #16
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We are more primitive than we realize. if your different, & you don't suit the tribe, they will force you out
I think this indeed is very true. We have almost gone too far with how 'rational' a species we think we are. As a result of that people often claim a whole range of different things, but when one of those things actually happens (for example they claim to accept everyone as they are, but when they see someone who's passion is something they hate) they will often base their judgment on their initial feeling (instinct).

I catch myself doing things like this all the time. For example you see a youtube video of someone who is extremely good at ping pong and you don't like ping pong. A lot of people will just think: "man he must have no life to play ping pong that much what a loser" and leave it at that. But often when I have a thought like this I then soon after realize that people could very well say the same thing about a weightlifter for example, and I try to change my stance on the matter.
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Old 12-02-2013, 03:06 PM   #17
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I always loved the TV ads for places like Gap and A&F. "Express your individuality. Blaze your own trail. Be your own man/woman. ...and do it by buying mass-produced stuff that will make you look like everyone else." LOL


Maria Kang, an Asian woman in her early 30's, is in great shape despite having given birth to 3 children. She posted something online, "What's your excuse?" Naturally, she was attacked for bullying (the new PC buzz word) and fat-shaming.

The simple truth is that many (if not most) women would love to be in that kind of shape, but the overwhelming majority of them come up with excuses why they can't/aren't. That is what Kang's message was about. I don't think she is saying "you should be like me." I think it's more of, if you're unhappy with how you look, you can change it...or you can keep making excuses.
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:19 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by TDawg75 View Post
Fitting in with the group, tribe, or pack is waaaaay overrated. I just do whatever. How it is looked upon, or whether it is approved, by the collective is not a concern. (Of course I'm not talking about doing things that are illegal). It works out much better that way.
Snap!

I recall, when I was 18y/o, a guy said "you don't care what other people think do you?" mainly because I refused to follow fashion; mostly I don't care but it can hurt when they just don't leave me the hell alone to live my life, etc.
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