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Old 05-03-2013, 02:02 PM   #1
Jesda
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Default Are we too easy on kids these days?

I have been wondering lately if we are too easy on kids these days? Like for example, my cousin has a boy that is 12 and throws temper tantrums. He has since day one. It should have been nipped in the butt a long time ago but they usually just ignored him. Now they say if you don't stop I am going to take away this or that or you will go to your room. They say it five or six times and then never follow through.

I do not know about how anyone else was raised but I was raised to listen to my parents and what they said went. If dad so much as raised his voice, I straightened my butt up. There was no talking back, no throwing myself on the ground, yelling or screaming. But these days I see a lot of that. And I see kids hitting their parents or telling them to shut up or swearing at them, even telling them how dumb they are. I would have never thought to do this or else my behind would have been black and blue.

I guess what I am getting at is, are we too soft on our kids today? Are we too afraid to parent? Do we only want to be a best friend to them? I know that there are many that may not agree with me, but I see nothing wrong with a parent who wants to parent, and will bust their childs butt if they do something wrong. I do not my any means mean to beat them or abuse them but to make them see that they can not get away with a bunch of the bull crap that so many of the teens get away with today. Just a little rant that I had to go on about as it just makes me get hot!
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:08 PM   #2
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As you state, they left it too late, his behaviour patterns should have been dealt with early on.

And no, there's no way I would have talked back to either parent.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:22 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesda View Post
I guess what I am getting at is, are we too soft on our kids today? Are we too afraid to parent? Do we only want to be a best friend to them?
Yes, I guess so.

Spare the rod, spoil the child may sound a little extreme to the modern day parents, but guess what, instilling discipline at an early age works.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:24 PM   #4
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These kids are soft and spoiled.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:37 PM   #5
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Yep. I can see a difference in myself and my sister who is 15 years younger than I am. I think a big difference is my grandparents played a very large role in raising me, and a very small role in raising my sister. There are things that she does at the age of 4, that I know for a fact I did not do and would not have been tolerated. Not to say they don't discipline her, but the level of discipline given is much less. I wonder what the future holds. She's better than many other kids at least.

On myself, there were things I got away with in middle school and high school I shouldn't have gotten away with. One friend, whose mom worked at the school, used to say it was because the teachers thought I had something wrong with me, and that's probably where a large part of the problem is. I have a friend studying psychology, and there seems to be an explanation for every type of behavior. "This is wrong with them...that is...they have this or that..." which is probably true a lot of times, but sometimes a kid just needs to be put in their place. Had my stepdad not challenged me to a fight when I was in the 9th grade, I probably would have never quit being the little shit I was. Needless to say, I turned down that offer,(Beat him, I could do whatever the hell I wanted) and that was enough to make me realize what little power I had.

Yeah, discipline on kids is too soft. But hey, what can you do? There could be a whole other topic on WHY the discipline is so soft. My dad can't even break up a fight between two girls at the school where he does all of the disciplinary action. Why? Because he could easily lose his job if they so much as said he brushed his arm against one of their breasts. So there's a bit of food for thought too...
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:44 PM   #6
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Yep, most governments, in a multitude of countries have clamped down on parental discipline without giving them some sort of guidelines as to how to maintain discipline at the same time.

It makes it difficult to keep order and young kids need it. I heard a story that a kid went into a doctors bag, in the surgery, and was shocked when the doctor said "get out of that" as if she'd never been told "no" before.

We had discipline but were extremely well-behaved but my father still decided to use the buckled end of the leather strap for minor issues, my mother eventually hid it; we were disciplined for stuff others would have laughed off.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:49 PM   #7
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I can't speak for anyone else... but I got my fair share of whoop' ens growing up and I turned out ok. I think we are definately too soft on kids, these days.
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Old 05-04-2013, 08:51 PM   #8
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I grew up where I had to get a switch if I did something bad, where using a belt or other household items if I were to back talk and not listen were the norm.

I still remember to this day when I called my mother a 'b*tch' and I got backhanded so hard I bled. Never again.

I think they are spoiled and not disciplined enough. There are cases of abuse and I don't condone that.
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:18 PM   #9
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I was at my uncle's last night. He has a 5 year old and an 8 year old, and they were watching the Disney channel. I don't know what show it was, but I noticed some interesting things about it. The kids in the show seemed to have little respect for parents and other authorities. Of course, it's a kid's dream to be able to make fun of their parents and go against their will- and rebellion is human nature.(Maybe not right, but it is in our blood) Any kid seeing that will most definitely be influenced in some way. I've seen Andy Griffith a few times in my life, and Opie didn't act as these kids acted. These kids weren't horrible- no beating their parents, cussing, etc. But just how the kids behaved, and how their parents handled is definitely not a good influence on the kids watching the show. Not only that, but it's probably a direct reflection of how our society is developing.

Maybe some kids perceive things differently than I did/do, but I can't help but think I would have thought that the way those kids acted was normal(and that maybe my parent's way of raising me was wrong) had I watched that show at a very young age. I mean, when I was 12, after playing a lot of Grand Theft Auto, I began to believe that there was very little consequence for shooting it out with the cops. Of course, I knew better, so I had that, but still, my mind was warped a bit. I can't imagine I'm the only who was so impressionable at that age either.
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Old 05-04-2013, 10:08 PM   #10
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I would say so. Also, I reckon this has been a work in progress for some decades now.

There was a kid I knew (so a potential friend, but, uh...) when I was a wee lad (maybe 10 or so, which I believe was his age too), who was the most uncontrollable little sh*t you'd never want to meet. Screaming tantrums all the time, total disregard for everyone else... and so on.

His mum just let him do whatever, whenever, wherever. Basically. I shudder to think whereabouts that guy (now well and truly an "adult"?) might be in life.

Thing is, I have since encountered far too many of these cases. And overall, kids' behaviour seems to be worse. Yes, I'm generalising big time of course. I swear this is a genuine phenomenon, however.
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