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Old 10-08-2012, 04:16 PM   #41
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I was emotionally abused by my father as a child. It has taken me my entire adult life to find a way to function normally. Only during the last 6-7 years do I feel like a healthy, mature human being capable of knowing what right and wise actions are.

For most of these years I had no clue how deep my resulting dysfunctions were. It's hard to heal problems when they don't feel like problems. Some of my problems/issues were part of my defense mechanisms. I thought they were good things.

I still am not whole. In some ways I live to please others, and in some ways my anger towards bullies now has turned me into a man that suffers fools with little patience. I know what I need to do to be the person I want to be, but it will still take time, should I be granted it.

There was a point in time where I came out of my shell and realized I didn't have to be the road, I could be the tire. Taking on the role of the tire was empowering, but it also turned me - in some ways - into the verbal bullies I despised.

The challenge for me now is to master patience, to not assume intentions, to be more of a servant, and to love those who hate me because that is the only option I see as viable. Hatred is a cancer, in any form.

Without turning this overly philosophical, I simply want joy and happiness. When I allow hatred to enter my person, I am allowing the actions of another person to impact my life in a negative manner. I allow them to control me.

I do not want the actions of anyone to control me. This is not freedom.
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Old 10-08-2012, 04:34 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kgLifter View Post
If someone sends you a letter, you can choose to respond or not...if someone beats you physically for years, it scars you emotionally what one person does to another has a direct effect on their reaction, to some degree...to be in full control is a nice rosy view but not reality by any means.

Otherwise shellshocked war victims would still be considered cowards, when they are clearly not.



I'm astounded that you can even consider psychological abuse as immaturity, they are not the same thing.
What is it that you think I said, I am talking about children growing up to be fully functioning adults.

And not everyone is emotionally scared by what has happened to them.

How did we get from someone being called out about their weight to shell shock veterans?
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Old 10-08-2012, 05:42 PM   #43
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I was sexually assaulted when I was twelve years of age. Picked upon mercilessly in school until I quit. Drugs and alcohol followed. Self destruction on an epic scale.

Nobody in my family could or would show me that I had worth of any kind. I come from a family of victims.

You see, I have been bullied and worse. Far worse than being called a bad example by someone whose opinion shouldn't amount to a hill of beans.

Perspective is what I have, I guess.

I would love to point at my resume of hurts and see that the worse that had happened was someone saying that I didn't meet their ideal.

I walk through this life with my head held high. My life isn't perfect, but I do it.

Sometimes you just have to say that guy is trying to f*ck with me. Well,He better pack a lunch, he has a lot of work ahead of him.
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Old 10-08-2012, 07:48 PM   #44
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Information such as this, disheartens my soul. There is far too much of this type of activity in this world and not enough supportive intelligence.

But I am of the opinion and will always feel:

Never lower head nor believe your beneath anyone on this earth. None who criticize you are without fault of their own.

The Judgment of others and/or being overly judgmental of others can cause internal and external poison, and hamper true circumference of clear vision. Does one look at another and truly see? Maybe, if they were able to remove the spec from their own eye, but this isn't possible, because we all have specs in our eye; therefore, their vision of you are flawed as it comes from a flawed base to begin with.

“My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”

During my childhood my mother words reached in and pulled out the heart and soul behind my self-esteem and self-image and stomped it; I began adulthood with a broken spirit and a ball and chain that tarnished my self esteem:

I do share something in common with Steve, though in this case, it was my mother:

I came into this world with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and my face blue from lack of oxygen; I was an innocent newborn child dependent upon the outside world for my survival. I had no choice in whom my parents happened to be. I had no control on the type of environment I was brought. I had no choice but to absorb the feedback from my parents, other people, and my environment. Just like any other new born.

I was innocent and untainted. But, my upbringing tainted the untainted soul.

From the most distant memory of 5 to the age of 18, I was mentally and physically abused as a child. None of these memories have faded with time.

The concept of believing in myself “was” totally foreign to me as a child and including my teen years. My mother destroyed me; she shriveled me up like a prune; shrunk me down to a tiny ant that could be mentally killed with a quick flick of a few words; “My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”.

Believe me when I tell you, I know much pain in my life and I turned it around. My childhood explains WHY I am the way I am. My mother took the zest for life out of me, and I had to find it. I felt worthless and ashamed of myself at 18 entering a world that would eat you alive while gnashing its teeth laughing.

I set out to put the spirit DEEP INSIDE my children. In life I try to stir it to those willing to recognize they have it, because it WAS INDEED taken from me when I was young by my mother. BUT...........I, and I only....put it back inside.

And, so can anyone else. This childhood MOTIVATES ME to prove it WRONG! And, has all of my life.


I don't want nor need sympathy. I want productivity and progressive personal growth, and help others learn they have it too.

ya got it?

good.



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Old 10-09-2012, 12:16 AM   #45
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Obesity is a huge problem in the U.S., but meanwhile, only the anorexic runway models can get chastised for displaying an unhealthy body image that young women emulate? Why shouldn't it also apply to the corpulent news anchor, considering obesity is much more prevalent in this country, along with being a precursor to diabetes and other serious health issues that can result in death? I don't want to pay for her 'beetus meds once this Obamacare system begins.
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:25 AM   #46
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all i can say is i was mentally and physically bullied as kid for a number of years by a pair of psycho brothers and the result of that i feel is the reason for some stupid chooses in life as i got older i was on a dark road of drink and drugs and in a dark hole feeling very insecure and depression and anxiety struggling to hold jobs down for more then 3 months at a time ,i did crap at school and left with no grades,i still feel a lot of hatred for those scumbags now and if i ever seen them again i would bring the hammer down on them but i don't think they would f#ck with me now it is a different ball game now i'm a grown adult who is able of fighting back,the story of this is i still walk around with this shit in my head.
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Old 10-09-2012, 04:40 AM   #47
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Oh come on people we have all dealt with things in our lives, that doesn't mean we should continue the cycle and be douches at every given opportunity when we're older.

Is the anchor playing the victim to divert off from her obvious weight issue? Probably. Does that mean she's fair game? Maybe. Is it right to 'point out' her issues then? Well that's for you to decide.

I just know that it's probably someone who hasn't dealt with their own issues that's doing most of the pointing. It's very easy to tell apart who carries his past around with him and let's it rule his actions and who learns from his life experiences. You know why? Because the doer's are too busy enjoying life and getting on with productive things to stop and pause to write douchebag letters, and the victims carry their abuse around with them whereever they go and unload at every given opportunity.

So don't be the douche because it's very transparent that you're actually the victim.

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Old 10-09-2012, 09:08 AM   #48
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Quote:
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So don't be the douche because it's very transparent that you're actually the victim.
That pretty much sums it up.

I deal with a lot of transformation stories for my employment and nearly to a person those making dramatic changes only want to help others. They are encouraging and approachable. They aren't sending letters to people telling them about their problems and how they are bad role models.

Sure, this is a generalization, but a pretty accurate one. The people that have turned their lives around usually aren't in attack mode. Usually they have an energy about them that is one of encouragement.
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