I get it man.
We conversed briefly before on another tread, and came to the conclusion that the mind can be your own worse enemy.
Ill give you an example of what something that drives me crazy.
I work all week. & take on extra jobs outside of work to up-skill, some are favours.
when I get mentally fatigued, or even slightly unmotivated - I convince myself that I'm lazy and need to work harder.
I would then find hard to sleep that night if I didn't get the the extra work done,
and when I finally put down my tools - I cant relax and and unwind unless the job is complete.