Oh, God. Why am I so fat?
You're not SO fat.
I am! Why?
Well, for start, you eat too much, you drink too much and you take no excercise.
Darling, darling, please. It's far more likely to be an allergy to something, you know... You know, sort of a build-up of toxins, or something, or hormone imbalance, isn't it? Hmm? And also, sweetie, did you know I've got a very heavy aura?
Did you know that? That's why animals love me, darling.
They just see you as something to hibernate in.