Maintaining your strength, and increasing, at a lower weight is awesome Jim! Never, ever ever stop!
I want you to know that your strength through these times builds me up. You didn't jump off a building. Your uncles choices in life were based off his own circumstances, interests and motivations.
Don't ever do something, or not do, if you think you will regret it later!
If violence doesnt solve your problems, youre not using enough of it