Originally Posted by LindenGarcia18
I wish. For normal people yes. But for me, the journey is hell, I'm always worried.
It knocks my motivation as well.
Have you ever had any therapy? My wife has an anxiety disorder. Everybody has worries and concerns, but it's a disorder when it starts to control your life. If you have any kind of disorder, there are amazing therapists and medicines out there that can help.
But for now, you need to learn to set goals. You already have a long term goal, and that's an awesome thing to have, but you're going to get frustrated real quick if it's all you have to keep you going. Instead, set short term goals. The short term goals are the steps on the ladder that lead you to your long term goal. They give you direction and also keep you motivated because there's always something your pretty close to achieving.
I'm not sure what your bodyweight is, but that could be part of your goals. Maybe you could say that you want to slowly and smoothly gain 10lb, and also add 40lb to your deadlift and squat. Neither of those goals are too crazy (in fact, most guys here will tell you 10lb isn't nearly enough, but your an exceptional case), so it gives you something to focus on, and also gives you a point at which you can take a good look at some before and after pics and see if you're headed in the right direction as far as how you want to look.
When you get to that pre-planned point you can either add or subtract calories from your daily intake based on your progress. In the end, though, it's always going to take patience, but patience is a pretty good thing to have anyways.