Just noticed that part about your grip and bench height.
You can put plates under your feet to raise them up, or lifting shoes might help too, like JT. However, even if your heels are up, you still want to try and force them down even if they won't touch. That downward force will go up the bench and also it keeps you from getting calf cramps at an inopportune time!!
Your grip should be a little wide to start the lift because what you want is your forearms verticle (elbows directly under hands) when the bar is touching your chest. Where you touch is just fine. Don't listen to that spotter!
Take a video from the back or front and you can see if your forearms are verticle when you touch.