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Old 10-08-2012, 08:48 PM   #44
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Max Brawn
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Kansas
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Information such as this, disheartens my soul. There is far too much of this type of activity in this world and not enough supportive intelligence.

But I am of the opinion and will always feel:

Never lower head nor believe your beneath anyone on this earth. None who criticize you are without fault of their own.

The Judgment of others and/or being overly judgmental of others can cause internal and external poison, and hamper true circumference of clear vision. Does one look at another and truly see? Maybe, if they were able to remove the spec from their own eye, but this isn't possible, because we all have specs in our eye; therefore, their vision of you are flawed as it comes from a flawed base to begin with.

“My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”

During my childhood my mother words reached in and pulled out the heart and soul behind my self-esteem and self-image and stomped it; I began adulthood with a broken spirit and a ball and chain that tarnished my self esteem:

I do share something in common with Steve, though in this case, it was my mother:

I came into this world with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and my face blue from lack of oxygen; I was an innocent newborn child dependent upon the outside world for my survival. I had no choice in whom my parents happened to be. I had no control on the type of environment I was brought. I had no choice but to absorb the feedback from my parents, other people, and my environment. Just like any other new born.

I was innocent and untainted. But, my upbringing tainted the untainted soul.

From the most distant memory of 5 to the age of 18, I was mentally and physically abused as a child. None of these memories have faded with time.

The concept of believing in myself “was” totally foreign to me as a child and including my teen years. My mother destroyed me; she shriveled me up like a prune; shrunk me down to a tiny ant that could be mentally killed with a quick flick of a few words; “My self esteem was embarrassed by my parents”.

Believe me when I tell you, I know much pain in my life and I turned it around. My childhood explains WHY I am the way I am. My mother took the zest for life out of me, and I had to find it. I felt worthless and ashamed of myself at 18 entering a world that would eat you alive while gnashing its teeth laughing.

I set out to put the spirit DEEP INSIDE my children. In life I try to stir it to those willing to recognize they have it, because it WAS INDEED taken from me when I was young by my mother. BUT...........I, and I only....put it back inside.

And, so can anyone else. This childhood MOTIVATES ME to prove it WRONG! And, has all of my life.

I don't want nor need sympathy. I want productivity and progressive personal growth, and help others learn they have it too.

ya got it?


Age: 53

After losing 40+ unwanted lbs:

At 152/154lbs:

At 162-168:

Last edited by Chillen; 10-08-2012 at 08:53 PM.
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