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Old 05-08-2012, 03:48 PM   #32
Chalk Rebel
Uber Brawn

Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: East Texas
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_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine_J_ is a lifting machine

Originally Posted by 5kgLifter View Post
Galvanic Toning for the whole body:

HOLY CRAP! Apparently this "vibrate your way to a healthier you" is coming back.

Maybe this is old news to some of you, but it's news to me. In a nearby local newspaper, there was an ad for a new "fitness" studio that touts the "The 10 Minute, No Work Workout!" They use "Whole Body Vibration" technology. It's simpley a vibrating platform with a treadmill-type console and hand rails. You just stand on the platform for 10 minutes. Since you don't sweat, you can even do it in your work clothes. Just 10 minutes of not exerting yourself in any way (other than turning oxygen to carbon dioxide) you will:
--lose weight
--increase muscle tone
--increase muscle firmness
--increase metabolism
--decrease cellulite
--improve your mobility
--lower your blood pressure
--decrease cortisol
--increase bone density
--have a surge of endorphins
--decrease back and knee pain

Now people can't even be bothered to exert themselves at all? Just stand here and you'll lose weight and be healthier? At least when you bought snake oil you got something tangible.

What outrages me as a legal professional is that the ad touts that this Whole Body Vibration thing is an "FDA approved Class One medical device." Oooh, doesn't that sound official and medically important? Want to know what else is a Class I medical device? Elastic bandages, examination gloves, and hand-held surgical instruments. It's not a coincidence that none of those things will help you lose weight or firm up.

According to the FDA, Class I devices are not intended for use in supporting or sustaining life or to be of substantial importance in preventing or treating health impairments. Translation: these devices are not intended to prevent or treat any health know, like being obesity, pain, insomnia, joint pain, low metabolism, high blood pressure, etc.

I know what you're thinking. Surely, the FDA would wouldn't allow them to make such untrue claims, right? It's being a "medical device" after all. Well, the FDA is completely unaware of the ridiculous claims being made. Usually a company must notify the FDA of how a product will be labeled and marketed (what it's called and what it's for). However, most Class I devices, including the Whole Body Vibration station, don't have to do that at all.

Honestly, I am both sick and outraged. Part of me wants to burn the building down (i wouldn't b/c it's next to a good sushi place) and the other part of me (the lawyer) wants to turn this into a "power balance" type class-action lawsuit.
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